Oh, bugger
by yamiXtsuki
Summary: I get kidnapped by a crazy psychopath who then proceeds to train me in fighting, and then I follow Sesshomaru around so that he can train me to death only to get kidnapped AGAIN and everything I know is a LIE! SesshomaruXOC I've paused in writing until further notice. Sorry, guys :(
1. Evil Monkeys

_Author's Note:  
_Alright. So. This is my Inu Yasha fanfiction. It's alright, I guess. There's a little bit of NarakuXOC if you squint. Sorry for those who like that...

Everybody's a bit out of character, but... It's fun that way! Thank you and enjoy!

P.S.: the original name for this story was "Aw, crap! A rapist!" I thought it was funny, but said something about K-rated titles and I said "okay" and changed it to "Oh, bugger" That's K-rated, right?

* * *

_If only they were real…_I thought to myself. I sighed as I watched Inu Yasha fight Sesshomaru. "Idiots…" I muttered under my breath. Before I could comment further on their 'obvious' stupidity and hidden brotherly love, I was interrupted by a loud banging noise (much like a bomb) outside. Curious, I went to the door and stepped out.

Dust clouded my vision, making it impossible to discern what had changed. I grunted, annoyed fully at the disturbing lack of sight. "Let's see… a nuke… would have taken my house with it… and the city... and my state... Rocket launchers and gas explosions usually mean fire… So I'll say… Grenade?" I spoke my thoughts aloud, contemplating the cause of the dust.

A loud, rather evil laugh echoed around me, making me jump. Then I said loudly, "Well, that's not creepy at all." I giggled to myself, noting that this would make me seem crazy to a lot of people. It was then that I felt a sharp pain in my neck. I fell, saying, "Aw, crap. A rapist." The last thing that intruded my senses as I drifted off into dark unconsciousness was a deep, maniacal laugh.

* * *

I opened my eyes, only to shut them again because of a pain-inducing bright light. "That was painful," I muttered, annoyance dripping from my voice. Groaning softly as I saw the evil light again as I forced my eyes open. Eventually, the evil light dissipated to a meager candle and I rolled my burning orbs at the piteousness of it. After the adjustment, I noticed my head pounding like it was being hit with a mallet. Over and over again. Repeatedly.

"Ow… Well… Who the fuck kidnapped me? If he's hot, cool or interesting, I'll thank him. 'Cause now I won't be bored… If not… I'll have to cuss him out through all of hell and be sure that he is thoroughly annoyed." I wasn't really talking to anything particular, just myself.

Surprisingly, a voice answered. "You certainly are an interesting a girl." The voice was deep, and masculine, and it made me jump, letting out a little yelp (which I have been reminded time and time again that it sounds like a Chihuahua that got stepped on). _I'm hearing voices again..._ I thought in a singsong voice.

When I stopped freaking out (milliseconds, I swear!), I said calmly, "Why, thank you. And you are?" As I asked this, I turned to him. "Holy shit!"

He gave me a strange look as I backed away from him. _Black hair. Red eyes, purple clothes, feminine as hell… Oh my fucking_ _god! It's Naraku! _He raised an eyebrow. "You know me?" His voice was the exactly what it was in the English anime. Weird, but hey, I'm not complaining. I really _don't _ know that much Japanese.

"Know _about_ you, actually. So… you _can_ hear my thoughts. Creepy." I sighed as I walked over to him, sat in his lap and started poking him. He seemed irritated and thus, I giggled at him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, eyes narrowed and befuddled.

"Making sure you're real. Which doesn't really help much 'cause I don't remember any kind of sleep-induced imaginings so I can't really tell if being able to poke you would prove anything. Ah, well. I'm not complaining. Yet, that is," I informed him.

"Hmm… Yes, very strange indeed. Kagura! Get the girl some clothing. What is your name?" He asked. Rather politely, actually. _**Wrong!**_

"You know, I know you're a psychotic bastard and all. So you don't really have to pretend to be all nice and stuff. It's really weird to see you that way, anyway. I mean… you want to _taint _the sacred jewel just for the sake of tainting something. So… yeah… Call me Yami." _'Cause it's… the awesome-est name ever and it shall be mine!_

"Really, now?" He smirked down at me, red eyes shining with evil intentions (ew, dirty…). I was about to comment on how much like a _rapist _he looked, but Kagura walked in, kimono in hand.

"Am I interrupting something?" Her lazy tone and bored face told me she was unhappy. Poor thing. I guess she just can't get laid or something…

"Nothin' but my insanity," I told her with a creepy grin. Naraku smirked (in amusement, perhaps?) before pushing me off his lap (wow, I just realized what an awkward position that was… _that _may be why he looked like a rapist…) and standing. He took the kimono-thing from Kagura before handing it to me.

"You must want to get out of those ragged clothes. Here, wear this." I looked down at my ripped jeans, studded belt and loose tank top, pouting. I really liked my clothes…

"I appreciate the offer, I really do, but … I like my pants. And… kimonos don't equal pants. I find it really awkward to run around without pants, so… if it's alright with you…"

"Very well. A hakama, then." He walked out the door. I followed, not knowing what else to do. We ended up in a room with a bunch of weapons. And I was all, "Bedazzle!" as I ran over to this really sharp-looking sword. Unfortunately, I could not reach it as Naraku grabbed the back of my shirt, glaring down at me.

"Oh… sorry… I like… weapons. And it was just so _shiny_!" I paused. "They're really cool… yeah…"

"Can you use a sword?" he asked, glare fading away. _Bye bye, evil look of doom!_ I shook my head. "You would like to?" I nodded. "I'll teach you. First, go get a-." He was cut off as I tackle-hugged him, squeezing as hard as I could, yelling, 'thank you!' over and over in his ear.

"Alright, alright. You're welcome." He shoved me off, rubbing his ears. I grinned. "You need to listen, though. I'm not going easy on you because you're a woman."

"Well, you'd better not or else I'd have to hate you and strive to kill you for sexist reasons," I told him. He smirked.

"Really… we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" Now he was being sarcastic. Ass. I glared at him when he gave his evil chuckle of evilness. "You can get a hakama in there," he gestured to a brown door, "and then we can begin your training."

"Sweet." I said and went to pick out clothing. I came back out with the thing on, distracted by the black fabric and these confusing little white circle designs on it. "That's so… Ah!" I dodged a wooden sword aimed for my head. "That's rude." He said nothing. "So that's how you wanna be, huh? Where's _my_ stick? I'll win against you, mon-kun!"

"First, where'd you get 'mon-kun' from?" he asked, eyebrow raised in a confused expression. He was so… weird.

"You wear a baboon pelt a lot."

"How do you know so much about me?"

"Okay, so, how'd you end up kidnapping me? _Me,_ of all people?"

"I've been experimenting with something. It… put me there and I decided to bring back something to observe. I can only stay for a short period of time."

"I think it put you in a different dimension, 'cause in my… place there's this T.V. show called Inu Yasha and you're a character in it."

"Tee vee?" I laughed at his bemused expression.

"It's short for television. It's like watching people in a box that can't see you. You use Kanna's mirror, don't you? It's like that. But most of the things that happen on television aren't real." He seemed to relate, a little. "Next time you're in my world, remind me to show you. Anyway, the Inu Yasha show is an anime. Which is like a simplistic drawing of someone that moves." I paused in my explanation, making sure we were on the same page. I guessed by his face that we were. Sort of.

"So… Inu Yasha is the main character and it shows others. Like… yourself, Sesshomaru, Kouga… people. But only important ones." He smirked, pride at being called important. "You're the main villain. Of course you're important. You're plot line." He frowned. I grinned.

"How much do you know?"

"Well… considering that Inu Yasha was like… my first anime ever and my favorite, I know a whole hell of a lot. Like… about Onigumo's heart and Kikyo and how you plan to rid yourself of it and kill her and then you win and such." He nodded slowly. "I'm only half insane. I think." A chuckle. "Shut up!" A laugh. "You're mean."

And then he was charging at me with the practice sword. "Hey! Don't I get a wooden stick of doom, too?!" He laughed again, shaking his head. His long, black, wavy hair moved around and I was distracted by it for a second. I snapped out of it when he charged at me again. I clapped my hands together with the sword in between, moving the evil wooden thing to the side. "You know, because I was totally in love with the show, I know all your weaknesses. And other people's too, of course."

"Are you saying you could help me kill Inu Yasha?"

"You know, I _could _but I don't wanna. He's a likable person. Now, Kikyo or Kagome? I'd so kill one of those two. I _really_ don't like them. Not for any particular reason, per se, but you get my point."

"So, who are the people you'd kill?" he asked, deadly smirk in place.

"It's better to list the people I won't, actually." He quirked an eyebrow. "I won't try to kill Inu Yasha, Sango, Rin, Shippo, Kirara (though I don't suppose you'd really target the poor cat...) or Kohaku or Sesshomaru. They're just too awesome for me to want to kill. For various reasons, that is."

"That is a rather short list."

"Yeah, most people are dumb. Or annoying. Or both."

"I see. Let us begin." And we did. We practiced for a few hours, ignoring the news that a few enemies of Naraku's were moving in (the whole Inu Yasha gang and Sesshomaru). I think the only reason I didn't die was because I'd taken fencing and martial arts classes. Which was good. When we stopped, Naraku was completely calm and un-bothered whilst I could barely talk, panting as hard as I ever had. Which was cool with me, 'cause learning sword fighting was much cooler than breathing.

"Want to give up?" he asked, a triumphant, egotistical smirk in place.

"Yes, of course I do. But I'm too stupid to care that I can't breathe right now." I smiled, racing at him at my own top speed. Which was pretty fast where I come from but pretty slow compared to the evil man himself. However, I did catch him off guard, which was my goal.

But Naraku wasn't stupid; he quickly used his sword (apparently he was teaching me how to guard when I didn't have a weapon and my enemy did… I think he was just being an ass… anyway…) to take a swipe at my head. I had guessed that he'd do this (oh my god! I thought ahead, for once!) so I caught the damn wooden thing and went to punch his face. Which he caught. But I expected that too (damn I'm smart!). He twisted it back, trying to get me to let go of the sword. Which I did, and then I dropped to the floor and side-swept his legs from under him with a turning-kick-thing.

Dunno what it was called, but it was epic. Anyway, I grabbed his dropped wooden sword (more from surprise than actual advantage, did I receive that thing) and pointed the point (how repetitive…) at his throat. He smirked, giving a short clap from his place on the floor.

"You're better than I had expected, girl." I giggled at the innuendo in his sentence.

"So not the right thing to say when someone's got their 'sword' pointed at you. Anyhow, I stole the move from some anime I watched, – it's a thing I watch on the box called a television – I'm sure."

"Not bad for a beginner, either way. We'll have to continue this some other time; Inu Yasha and his group of humans and Sesshomaru are headed this way." I nodded and followed as he left the room. "You shouldn't follow. You may get hurt."

"Oh, well," I said, grinning.

We exited the castle through large, wooden doors (what's it with him and wood? Ooo… I made a funny!), coming to some weird, not-so-pretty courtyard. It was dead and rather rotted looking. From the miasma that, somehow, wasn't affecting me. Oh, Mon-kun's protecting me from it. Thank you, Mon-kun!

Said monkey-man smirked, turning toward me. He opened his mouth to say something but I was all, "Nope. Not being a fake hostage. Sorry, big, scary, long and black-haired man." He looked disappointed.

"Naraku!" a certain red-clothed (he's a total gangsta!), silver-haired, half-demon yelled. "I'm gonna kill you!"

"Maybe later!" I called. "I don't think he's up to it right now!" The other half-demon glared at me, telling me to shut up with his evil, red eyes. "Sorry." I grinned.

Just then, a sacred arrow hit the wall beside Naraku. And who's the lucky girl with the terrible aim? Why, Kagome, of course! "Naraku! Oh, who's that girl? Another incarnation?"

"Hell nah, chickie! I'm your opposite, a nightmare, if you will. Yours, of course." I sent her a sadistic grin. At least, that's how I meant it. And she looked creeped out so whatever I did accomplished it's job. "Anyway, I _really _don't like you, so I'm gonna stick with Mon-kun."

Just then, a large ball of blue light (hah! Blue balls!) hit Naraku's barrier. It was the other male dog demon, Sesshomaru! I started humming the bat man theme, ending with 'doggie' instead of 'bat man'. He didn't seem happy so I 'eep'ed and jumped behind the monkey-man, saying in a small voice, "Don't kill me!"

When nothing happened, I peeked out from behind the evil man to see Sesshomaru looking at me with a confused expression (at least, as confused as Sesshomaru can look…). This confused me as well, 'cause when Sesshomaru is confused, everyone's confused. I jogged up to him, giving a sheepish smile when he turned Tokijin on me. When I got over to the bluish-haired male, I said, "What's up?"

He glared, not a normal, vicious glare, just a slight narrowing of his pretty golden eyes. I'm such a fangirl… Then, he said, "What do you want?" In that nice, hateful way he has. (That was sarcastic, of course.) I smiled, saying nothing. His eyes narrowed some more, but he put away his sword (Aw, I liked it out…) and turned away, saying in a monotone, "Naraku's death is unattainable at this moment." And he walked away like the rich snob he was.

And I was all, "Bye, Mon-kun!" as I ran after him.

* * *

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"_Stalking _you. I dunno. I'm bored. You care?"

"No. Just don't get in the way."

"Okay. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"You'll ask anyway."

"Yupp. Do _you_ know why the sky's blue?"

"_Why_ do you want to know?"

"Oh, I already know why. I just want to know if you do."

"Whatever." Hah! He's such a drama-king!

"Do you know why a raven is like a writing desk?"

"No."

"Well, there really is no answer. This guy wrote a book and put that riddle in it as a joke. It wasn't supposed be answered, but people were all, 'He's too stupid to solve his own riddle! Let's do it for him!' And now, my favorite answer is, 'because you can confuse millions with both.'"

"Do you ever stop talking?"

"Nope."

And then there was a Rin hugging his legs. I grinned at the adorable little girl, watching as she asked questions about his safety and whatnot. Jaken was not far behind as he fluttered around the demon lord, asking where he'd been. It was annoying, so I kicked him. Then he was squawking and asking who I was, so I kicked him again.

"Argh! You concubine! I should kill you!" And he raised his staff to burn me but I took that and started beating him over the head with it.

"You stupid toad! Do I look like a whore to you?!" I shouted at the green imp. I hate being called a slut. I mean… I wear baggy men's clothes and such. That makes me the opposite, doesn't it? And I'm still a – oh, never mind, I'm not saying that. "Die you stupid, _idiotic¸_ low-life, son-of-a-!"

"Stop." Sesshomaru ordered. I obeyed, panting from the exertion of beating the toad. Hitting an imp over the head repeatedly can really take your energy out. I glanced at the dog demon to see a small smirk. _Oh, I amused him. I'm good at that, I guess. Crap, that sounded wrong._ "You will take care of Rin from now on, to make you useful, girl. It seems you are more capable than Jaken." He seemed less amused. And a little cold. Bastard.

"Okay, works for me."

Rin hid behind Sesshomaru, glancing nervously from me to Jaken. I was confused a moment before realization dawned on me. "Don't worry, kid. I just find that thing annoying. You're awesome. I wouldn't hurt you. Besides, if I did, Sesshomaru would have my head." _Heh. Sounds kinky._ She seemed reassured as she came out from behind the tall-ass bastard's legs (I bet they're prettier than mine…) and ran up to me.

"Let's play!" she cheered. I nodded but Sesshomaru was a stick in the mud as he told us to go get food. (Does he even eat…?) "Okay!" the young girl chirped, leading me away to some river or stream or something. It had fish in it, I assume.

She actually knew how to catch fish. I didn't. So I let her. I mean… she looked like she was having fun, anyway. I sat down in some grass nearby, watching out for anything unusual. Bored, I started humming 'Amazing Grace'. I was an okay singer, I just liked to do it _all the time._ I was even singing in my head whilst I was training with monkey-man. Which was funny at first, 'cause it disturbed him. I _was _ singing 'Caramelldansen'.

After I finished the song (which is really freaky timing), a loud cracking noise sounded, giving preamble for a falling tree. It wasn't close to Rin or I, thankfully. Following the tree, however, was something I was _not_ thankful for. Some weird, scaly, purple demon walked into the clearing, laughing evilly as it did so. "A couple of snacks, I see." It chuckled and walked toward me.

"Damn. Another fricken' rapist…" I muttered. "Rin, go get Sesshomaru. I can… erm… Survive a while. But it's important that Sesshomaru get here. I'm still a novice." She nodded and ran off, whilst I faced the demon. It glared at me, angry that one of its 'snacks' got away. It ran at me and I dodged (… scrambled out of the way…) and was happy with that as I noticed a big club headed for my, well, head. I ducked, losing my balance and falling to the ground like the pathetic, clumsy human I was.

How annoying. "I'm getting better, at least." I muttered sardonically. Then I realized what this stupid purple demon-thing was. An incarnation of Naraku. "Damn it, Naraku. You just like to annoy me, don't you?" _**Yes, yes I do.**_ A voice answered. I wasn't sure whether Naraku had telepathy or I was just crazy. I assumed the second.

I ran away from the demon, searching for something to use as a weapon. The demon was slow, so it didn't catch me and I was able to find a sturdy-looking stick. The demon brushed its feet on the ground like a bull and charged. When it came near me, I jumped away to my left, stabbing it's lizard-y skin with my makeshift sword. Well, my stick broke and like… shattered. Fortunately, the demon's head fell onto the ground anyway.

Wait a minute… That's not right… Oh, look, it's Sesshomaru. "Hi, Sesshomaru!" I fainted. For the second fucking time. Stupid inability to stay awake. Damn it, the rapist is gonna get me.


	2. Hardcore Training

This time when I woke up, I didn't get my eyes burned out. I saw purple. And shiny. It was some form of vase-looking lamp-thing. It had a wick in it and was lit, illuminating the otherwise dark room. Yay! It was night. I love night…

So I looked around and found that I was in a bed (with really soft covers… purple and blue silken stuffs) and it was _really _big. Which means it was Sesshomaru's. I mean, that's just a given. He's not overcompensating. He just has an ego bigger than the universe. Which is constantly expanding. Interesting…

There were four doors in the room. I could see into one (as it was cracked open) and I could see some sort of bath-looking thing. It had steam, so I assumed it was a bath. There was another door, it being carved into by some amazing artist that could make a forest scene with a chisel.

'Cause that's what it had. A forest scene. Lots of flowers and such. It was really pretty.

Giving into my curiosity, I pushed the blankets from my form and walked over to the door, ignoring the random pain in my back. I opened the door, sighed and shut it again. "Stupid closet. I thought it was important…"

I walked over to a forest green door, staring into the eyes of the wolf painted there. "Hiya wolfie." I opened the door, finding a forest to greet my eyes. "I like this room," I said aloud. _**There you are. **_ a voice said.

"Agh! Not the voices again!" _**Again? It's Naraku, woman. **_"Oh, hi Naraku-creeper-man-thing." The voice sighed. _**Where are you?**_ "Sesshomaru's castle, I think. Why?" _**I'll get you later. **_"How much later?" _**A year or so. **_"Cool. Bye."

The voice didn't speak again. Or it did, but I ignored it, because it was saying it wasn't a voice in my head, and it was Naraku speaking to me from a distance. Which was just as weird. So I didn't care.

I was about to sit on the floor of the balcony and do some nature-watching when the door slammed open and Sesshomaru strode in. Rin followed, holding what appeared to be bandages. A bowl of water followed – wait, no, that's a Jaken.

"Yami?" Rin ventured. I wondered where she got my name from, but I figured I must have said it at some point when we were walking to that stream.

"I'm over here, watching these pretty birds… Oh, that's not a bird." She ran over to me, kneeling and hugging me all in one motion. "At least I know I was missed. Er… was I even gone?"

"Rin was scared that Yami would never wake up!" she cried into my shoulder. I hugged her, telling her that it was alright and I was too stupid to know how to die. She laughed, skipping back over behind Sesshomaru, who'd ordered her to do so. That child is bipolar.

"Woman, get up." I stood, wincing as I did so. "When did you awaken?"

"Uh… A minute ago, I guess…"

"You're injured, fool. Get back to the bed."

"Yessir." I giggled mentally. _Very demanding, master. How would you like me on the bed?_ Sesshomaru bandaged my back up with little comment. He didn't even say anything about the fact that I was blushing bright red and hugging my boobs so they wouldn't pop out of the damn kimono I was dressed in. A good question – who put me in the kimono?

I hope it was Rin. Or do I...? Hehehehe...

After my space-out, I heard a low growl behind me. Er... above me, really. From Sesshomaru.

"What's up?" I asked him.

"What are you?" More of an order than a question. Luckily, I'm amenable to orders. Especially to sexy men. Particularly when they can kill me. I turned around to face him, curiosity piqued.

"Um... I dunno. A very strange person?" He glared. "Human, then?" He seemed to glare more.

At my blank look, he elaborated: "With your wound healed as much as it is, I do not believe so."

"Oh... Well, then, I dunno. What do you think?"

He frowned. He seemed to want to say something and then thought better of it and left the room. Before long, I passed out. "Damn rapists..."

* * *

It was a week later that anything interesting happened. I always hung out with Rin, because I was her caretaker, or something. I was better at the job than Jaken was, at any rate. I never saw the sexy asshole, Sesshomaru. And I should really stop complimenting him and insulting him in my head. He can't hear it, and I just feel crazier. In a bad way.

At the time, Rin and I were making crowns out of flowers, presumably for Jaken, Ah-Un and Sesshomaru. She had to teach me how, of course but I enjoyed art, whatever it may be, and I had fun. I smiled as I completed my second one, made of blue and white flowers and declared it suited Sesshomaru.

"What does, woman?" At first I was all _oh shit!_, but then I realized he didn't sound angry at all, just curious. I grinned, holding the misshapen creation up for him to view.

"'Tis for you, milord!" He glared down at me. For a second, that look held and I was a little frightened. Not too much, though. I swear. Then, he glanced at Rin's hopeful expression and took it obediently. I promptly had a fangirl moment in my head.

Before I could comment on how nice he was, there was a loud crash somewhere to my left. A... man...? had fallen into the flowers, crushing all of Rin's – and my first – flower creations. I was _not _happy about that. It had taken _forever _to make mine, and Rin's were so pretty! It's so mean.

I stood.

"_You._" I pointed at the demon. He was probably some sort of lizard demon; he had scales and a long tail that reminded me of alligators. Fuming, I ground out, "Get _off._"

He smirked up at me, apparently not noticing the Lord and his ward not two feet away. "Why should I, girlie?" I growled at him (Ha! Practicing _was_ useful!) I grabbed the tuft of hair on his head and promptly dragged him off it. He wasn't grinning anymore and he let out a high-pitched yelp from the pain.

"Who you calling girlie, you _pussy?_" I hissed this last part in his ear, so that Rin wouldn't hear. When he was fully off the flowers, I kicked him in the ribs and sat back down, furiously trying to remake the pretty white crown that he had destroyed.

Rin was laughing her ass off. Sesshomaru even looked amused. I wonder if he heard when I called the lizard a pussy? Then he seemed to decide something. In his deep, commanding voice, he told me to get up.

"But... oh, alright." Arguing was a bad, _bad_ idea.

"Come." I obeyed. Mentally, I had a fangasm because of the innuendo and his pure sexiness.

* * *

Sesshomaru was a hard trainer. He was a vicious fighter and it reflected in his style of teaching. He also had this vengeful streak that came out whenever I actually managed to hit him. Usually because he was distracted and it only happened like... twice, but it hurt like hell! After two weeks of intensive training, he deemed me fit enough to join his training army. Alas, they were all sexist bastards (including Sesshomaru and a certain half-demon that liked to talk to me in my head every once in a while).

When the first day of army-training came around, I was told to warm up for an hour. I saw some men at the archery range, shooting up a storm and walked over, intent on that being my warm-up. I was stopped by some dick who yelled, "Hey, woman! This ain't no place for females! Get back to the kitchen!"

Infuriated by his sexism (and his abuse of English grammar), I grabbed a bow and a quiver, knocked an arrow, and aimed for his crotch. My arrow struck true and the guy started running around with an arrow (it didn't go very deep, because it was a _practice_ arrow) sticking out of his pelvic bone area.

I couldn't help myself. I fell over, laughing. I tried to keep the arrows from spilling – and succeeded, thankfully. A shadow fell over me. I tried to stop laughing because I _knew _I was in trouble, but when I get into a fit like that, it's hard.

"Woman." He sounded... almost happy. Well... not as cold. But still. Amazed and shocked at the possibility of a smile from Sesshomaru, I looked up. He wasn't smiling, but his eyes were... less evil than normal. Happy. Kind of adorable, really. "You will be excused of the normal punishment today, for the rules of the army have not been explained to you, but you should know better than to... shoot allies." I snickered, but bowed my head obediently. "A lap."

Less than expected. I bowed to him again. "Yes, my lord." That was respectful, wasn't it? I obeyed his order, hurrying a lap around the castle. By the time I came back, the whole army was getting ready to run laps. Five, in fact. I groaned aloud, following the faster runners in the second of my six laps.

* * *

"Hot, hot hot! It's so fecking hot outside! Why's it so fecking _hot?!_" Some of the nearby soldiers laughed at my expense. We were stopped for a lunch break at a river. I debated whether I should take off my outer clothes and enter the lake in my underwear (which I had a new set of, thank the seven layers of hell) or if I should just jump in as is. I _really _didn't want to run around in a wet hakama, so I decided to take it off. Medieval Japanese undies it was!

I removed the training hakama Naraku had let me steal (apparently he was too confused to stop me when I ran off with Sesshomaru – and I had washed it since then!) and hopped in, ignoring the jeers and wolf-whistles from the testosterone-filled men sent to me. At least, I think they were sent to me. I was the only female, and Sesshomaru would kill them if they flirted with him, so...

Speaking of Mr. I'msosexythatyouwishyouwereinm ypants...

He popped up from the water, flicking his long, sexy hair like the drama-king he was. He wasn't wearing a top and I was too afraid to look down in case he wasn't wearing bottoms ('cause I would totally hump his leg like a Chihuahua. He _does, _in fact, have stripes on his hips. And they're reddish-pink, and fun to stare at, and...

Oh, he's talking to me. I should listen. He has nice lips... Oh, wait...

"-staring."

"Wha?" I'm so coherent.

He sighed that It-Sucks-To-Be-Beautiful sigh. "Woman. Stop staring."

"Oh." I looked away, willing the blush in my cheeks (and the dirty thoughts in my head) to go away.

"Any attraction you have for me, woman, get rid of it. Now. You will receive no results but my impatience." Dickhead.

"I know _that,_" I quipped, fully irate. "I'm not stupid. And it's not really something you can turn off. If you wouldn't pop up in front of me, naked, I wouldn't have any problems." For a second, I regretted saying all that. Then, I realized it was for the better and I tightened my jaw. I meant it, at any rate.

He seemed surprised (which was a sexy expression, like most of his expressions) and he opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. _Hah!I rendered the great Sesshomaru speechless! Hoo-rah!_

He turned from me and swam away, white fluffy thing floating after him. I turned from him as well with a triumphant grin. That was probably going to bite me in the ass later, but I had gotten the last word against the drama king! Go me!

Then I noticed that my clothing was missing. Fuck.

Fecking rapists.

* * *

Well, that was an experience.

I had to run around almost nude for hours before Sesshomaru actually noticed and threw a kimono on me. Quite literally, actually.

He pulled one over my head, growling, "Wear clothes, woman, you're distracting my army."

I obeyed of course. I didn't like walking around in my underwear. Everone laughed or outright stared at me. Pissed me off.

* * *

Sesshomaru woke me up early the next morning. Usually it was Rin and it was _after_ the sun was in the sky. _And _it wasn't even an army-training day. Fucker. I hated being woken up.

"Ugh... What... why?" I mumbled. I was probably incoherent. Then I noticed it was dark outside and I could only see because of a candle. "Why~?" I whined.

"Training," he replied shortly.

"Oh..." I paused. "Why so early?" I groaned.

"You need excessive training, woman. Now, shut up." Apparently he wasn't a morning person, either. I nodded, yawning and following him as he walked out of the room and the castle and onto the training grounds. I was gonna get my ass beat. So long as I got to sleep later, that was fine by me.

* * *

It was dark outside. Again. As in nighttime. Like... midnight, probably. My movements were slow, my sword heavy and the evil smirk on Sesshomaru's oh-so-pretty face was pissin' me off. With me and my stupid sleep-deprived brain, I told him that. He glared. Then he looked confused.

My bitching never went past my mind as a demon-thing suddenly crashed between us. It was very large, covered in thick scales and – oh, that's just a _hand._ Damn. That's a big-ass demon. I heard a loud rumbling and looked up. It was a growl, and the demon seemed pretty upset that it had missed its targets.

Which lead me to a question: Why didn't we hear the damn thing?!

And then its hand was on the ground because Sesshomaru had cut it off. It roared and all I could think of was going to sleep. I mean... from two'o'clock in the morning to midnight was too long. It was too long to be awake. Especially when you're being trained by a sadistic dog demon. No fun.

"Ah, hell," I complained, climbing up the behemoth's leg. "I'd better get to sleep after this!" I yelled to Sesshomaru who looked confused at me attempting to climb the thing to get to its head to kill it. Or amused. Whatever.

Said demon tried to swat me off and eat me or somethin', but it was too big and couldn't touch me from my place on its back. I finally reached its neck and took my dull sword that Sesshomaru had givng to me to train with – it was really crappy – and aimed the point (the only useful part of the thing) at the demon and stabbed it.

Well, I would have stabbed it if the damn sword would go through the bastard's thick hid. But it wouldn't. I attempted this a few times, failing every time. The evil giant-demon-thing laughed at me. I growled back, thoroughly P. .

"You know what, shit-head? I'm gonna kill you, one way or another."

I climbed up a bit further, onto the top of its head. I sent it and the smirking Sesshomaru a glare and plunged the craptastic sword into both eyes, getting my arm thoroughly covered in eye-jelly each time. It was really gooey and it reminded me of – oh shit!

I fell off. I squeaked, saying, "I can't die yet! I haven't even had hot, - oh, Thank you, Sesshomaru."

He'd caught me. Saved my life. Again. "Whatever." He paused, seeming to force out his next words. "You did well. Rin, Jaken Ah-Un, yourself and this Sesshomaru will be heading out tomorrow afternoon. Be ready."

I passed out from sheer exhaustion.


	3. Hey, I'm Useful!

I woke up with something soft and fluffy in my face. Assuming it was my stuffed bear that I hugged in my sleep all the time, I cuddled it. I called it "puppy." "Oh, puppy, I love you so~!"

"Woman."

Stuffed animals don't talk. Not even to me. And they don't have the capability of pushing you away (or do they?). Which means...

"Oh, uh... I can esplain!" I hurriedly told Sesshomaru. Judging by his twitching eyebrow, he was not happy. "I have this stuffed animal – it's a bear – at home, and I call it "puppy" and I hug it in my- … Where am I? Why am I in bed with you?" Oh, snap! Sesshomaru's a rapist!

He sighed, flinching at the implication. "You fell asleep, would not awaken and would not let go of this Sesshomaru. I do not know, nor care to know, where your room is. I came here to rest."

"Okay. Why do you refer to yourself as 'this Sesshomaru?' Is there another Sesshomaru around?" _Can I meet him?_ "Maybe... you have identity issues?"

"I know very well who I am, woman."

"Just askin'."

He glared. "Let go."

"Huh?"

"Let go."

"Oh." I stopped holding onto his... fluffy. Isn't it detachable? "Forgot about that. Sorry."

He glared. He stood up, letting the blankets fall from his nude chest (how the hell did he manage to remove his armor with me clinging to him?), revealing the pants he always managed to keep whiter than paper. Oh, wait. I'm drooling again.

He went over to a dresser-looking thing (it looked Western. Hehehe...) and opened it, revealing kimono-stuffs and obis galore. And pants that _weren't _white. He frowned, thumbing through it before glaring at nothing and shutting the door. He went to the second of three and repeated himself.

He sat back on his bed, which I hadn't moved from, and tried to set fire to empty space with his eyes. No clothes he wanted to wear. Such a girl... "You'd look great in blue." He looked at me, quirking an eyebrow. I know what he's thinking... "Yes, yes, we all know you look good anyway. My point being that blue kinda matches you. You know, like ice." He looked at me like I was mad. Which I am, but... "When someone colors ice, they use a light blue. Shut up..." I pouted. "Anyway... it's like you. Cold and stoic, but pretty. Handsome... both."

"You're very strange, woman."

"Yup! Can't say you're very normal, though, Mr. Iamsoawesomeandhuamnssuckbut Rin'scool'causeIsaidso." I said that in less than two seconds and on one breath. Cool.

"What?"

"Nevermind." He shook his head as if to clear it from my insanity and illogical logic. "You should wear black. You'd look sexy as a goth."

"A what?" This is fun.

"Dark, wears black, kinda depressing. Chicks dig gloomy guys." Suddenly, I had a wonder. "What's behind door number three?"

Ignoring my gameshow voice, he said, "Clothes for women." … Does he have fetishes no one knows about?

"What in the seven hells for?"

"During my season, I don't bother removing clothes... gently. Those that pass unscathed use them."

Now we're talking about his sex life. Great. … Can I join? "Ew. Well, I guess it's not necrophilia if the body's still warm."

He appeared to be deeply unsettled. "They don't die. Not until after..."

I laughed. "It's a joke. From someone with a really sick sense of humor."

He thought for a moment. "Naraku?"

"No, I don't think the person was.. that flamboyantly gay. Oh, chicks love gay men, by the way. 'Cause they're just that awesome."

Again, he was disturbed. I laughed.

"Hey, um..." I paused. "Do you think I could get some clothes? This disturbingly effeminate kimono's all I got... I'd ask if I could steal something of yours, but you're _way_ too tall, so..."

He rolled his eyes and motioned to the third dresser-thing. "Go ahead. The men will think you have slept with me because those smell like me." He seemed amused at this.

"A perk. You smell good. And technically, I did sleep with you. Just not... in a dirty way. But they can kiss my ass. They're... assholes." He glared at me. "Just because they're your men, doesn't mean they're nice people."

"You should watch watch you say about your comrades."

"I give as much as I get. When they stop being assholes, I will stop saying that they are. So... so long as they're difficult, so am I."

"You're very courageous. Or very stupid."

I shrugged. "I'm not lesser than them because I'm human. Whatever they think. More importantly, I'm not lesser than them because I have tits and no dick. If I give it my all, I can do anything they can just as well. Or better." I began to hum "Anything you can do, I can do better," snickering in my head.

Whilst I was talking, he picked out a light blue kimono set thing and put it on. I looked away when he got to the bottoms. I was a little shy. He was not. "Foolish. But you may be useful."

"Yay, the great Sesshomaru thinks I can do something! You're only better than me because you have godly looks and you're a lord. And you're super powerful. And just awesome in most aspects."

He shook his head again. "Get dressed, woman."

"Um... okay..." He was staring at me. Rapist. I picked something that I thought looked good enough and quickly changed. "There, I'm done. Perv."

He rolled his eyes again and motioned me to follow him. He traversed the expansive palace (because it was more a palace than a castle) with ease, but I had to jog to keep up with the freakishly tall, amazingly sexy dog demon.

A few servants stared at me, jaws agape, but I ignored them, pretending to be oblivious to the wolf whistles of the random, off-duty guards. Well, it only happened once and Sesshomaru glared at them so they looked like they were going to pee themselves. It's all good.

We arrived at the stables and I was promptly hugged by Rin, and then Jaken was promptly kicked by me in the face and he promptly received a bruise because he had _promptly _referred to me as a whore again. Sesshomaru told me off for it, so I covered her ears and said, "Fuck you, that bitch (no pun intended) called me a whore. Again."

"Fuck you!" Jaken squeaked.

"Shut the fuck up! Don't you fucking _know _not to fucking _cuss_ around kids, fuckhead?!" I replied, kicking him to emphasize my point. Sesshomaru even let out a... chuckle? Was that a chuckle?! Probably because the imp was now bleeding. But whatever! I was the cause of this expression of merriment!

I uncovered Rin's ears and she blinked up at me, innocence written everywhere. "Jaken's just stupid," I told her. She giggled.

Jaken couldn't move and thus couldn't respond to his lord's orders, so Sesshomaru kicked him onto Ah-Un, who was saddled and ready to go. He said something in a freaky, awesome (and sexy) language to Ah-Un and stepped onto the dragon's back. Rin and I followed, amazed when the dragon took off running, jumped and began to fly. Rin and I clung to Sesshomaru so we didn't die. He looked fondly at Rin and glared at me.

"What? Falling off a dragon mid-flight and dying is not my favorite thing to do." He rolled his eyes.

* * *

I didn't know we were going to see Totosai. I hugged his three-eyed cow because it was a three-eyed cow, and that's just awesome.

Apparently I needed a sword. And Sesshomaru waltzed in and told Totosai, "Make me a sword."

And he got a "no" because Totosai was frightened of Sesshomaru and hated him. So Sesshomaru dragged me in and I hugged the cow and then he ordered the smith, "Make her a sword." And he got a "yes" and then lost a fang. Because Totosai stole it. And I _laughed._

"Shut up, woman." He licked the empty spot when he stopped talking. I tried to, I really did. But I was unsuccessful. I don't really like to go against my nature... But Rin laughed right along with me, so I was safe. For now.

After a short while – maybe two, three hours – Inu Yasha showed up with the rest of his gang ('cause he's a gangsta). They started telling Totosai the B.S. about the Shikon Jewel and Midoriko being some sort of angel. Wait... what?

"Midoriko's an angel?" I asked. Sesshomaru had taken Jaken to do some lord business shite. I didn't listen. I was gonna get a sword.

"Well..." started Myoga, landing on my nose and having a little snack. The little demon. Get it, he's a flea demon? Hehehe... Never mind. "It is unknown, particularly, but there are man who suspect that Midoriko's immense spiritual powers came from Celestial blood."

"Hi, buggy." I pulled him off my nose gently. "So.. she's thought to be an angel? That's cool, I guess. Demonica's better though. But I'm biased. I like the occult."

He seemed happy I didn't squish him. "Are you Sesshomaru's... er..."

"No. But I haven't any clothes, so he gave me some. He's nice sometimes. Oh, er... Hi, Sesshomaru."

He'd just walked in. Inu Yasha growled at him, but he was ignored. Sesshomaru towered over me. "Woman, come here."

I followed him out of the cave. Where he handed me a practice sword. _Damn _that thing was heavy. I was about to ask him what he wanted me to do with the iron shaft of doom when he charged at me with a practice sword of his own. And so, the training began.

* * *

For the following week and a half, Sesshomaru trained me from dusk 'till dawn, the only breaks for the occasional meal (which I ate ravenously), sleep (which I didn't get enough of) and call of nature (which I called "girly things that I need to do that you don't need to know of" when he asked where I was going).

Sesshomaru's tooth grew back in three days, returning to exactly what it had been before. I was a little sad when that happened, because I couldn't call him "Hilly-Billy Sesshy" in my head anymore. I think he knew when I did that, because whenever I did, he'd hurt me with something.

Anyway, on the fourth day of the second week, he stopped bullying me because Totosai said he was done with the sword. He said that he couldn't touch it anymore, but I figured he was just afraid of Sesshomaru's reaction to it.

Inu Yasha apparently agreed with me, and, upon deciding that Totosai was stupid, attempted to pick up the sword. I say attempted because it stayed in the ground and Inu Yasha went crazy. I wasn't around, but I was told of it and I heard the "sit" command. And the resounding crash that it caused.

When I got to the cave, Sesshomaru was reaching for it. It burned him. Daringly, I went over to the sword stuck in the ground. Sesshomaru watched with dark eyes, curiosity burning in them. He licked his wounded palm as he watched and I attempted to ignore the outright sexiness.

I reached for the hilt slowly, gaining courage from my oddities and insanity. Being weird let me get away with a lot of things. Not everything, but a lot of things. Procrastinating...

My fingers brushed the leather-wrapped grip and...

* * *

_Author's End Note:_

Cliffhanger! Muhahahaha! I always wanted to do one of those. I'll update as soon as I can if someone's interested. School starts soon, but I'm not going this semester! Whoo! So I have a lot of free time. Bug me, and I will do as you ask. But you have to bug me, 'cause I forget about a lot of things. I have like... three more paragraphs written on a piece of paper, but nothing big.

Tell meh if you want moar~!


	4. Plot Development and Fiery Balls

Hey! I updated! Within two days of my last post! I think... Aren't you proud? :D

Anywho, thank you for those reviews, they made me happy. Someone requested a NarakuXOC, so I started writing that. No idea where it's going, but... she said "Naraku and you"... I made a new OC for it. Sorry if that's not what you wanted XP

I fixed the linebreaks on the other chapters. Didn't notice they were gone until recently... Alright!

Enjoy! Bug me if you want moar, 'cause it inspires me! Like... really. It does. I promise. Reviews, e-mails, texts... I'm not giving you my number. Never mind...

:D

* * *

Nothing.

Unless you count the freaky glowing light that lit up the cave, hurt my eyes and just generally flashed. That was interesting. Not long after the light had faded that a black flame came up from the blade and crawled up to my arm. As it slithered around my wrist, I laughed. It tickled.

The flames continued to emerge from the blade, and I stared at it, curious. Sure enough, my intuition was correct: the blade started to glow again and slowly began to change form. Because I didn't have to work at it like Inu Yasha did.

Before, the blade was a thin samurai sword. It was smooth, gleaming and well... deadly-looking.

As the blade changed, it got a little shorter, the curved tip curving up more and widening. Wicked curls split from the center of the blade, curling back much like the black flames coming off it.

"Konton no Hono," said Totosai. "This is... probably the most complicated blade I have ever made."

Sesshomaru grunted. I think it meant he wanted Totosai to elaborate.

"I used your fang for this, Sesshomaru. Instilled in that fang was the essence of a powerful Inu Yokai. But that blade has a dual base, instead of the usual one. The second base... I am not sure where it came from." He paused here, handing me the sheath he'd made for the sword.

"This won't fit in that hole." I motioned to the point of my sword and to the hole of the sheath. It was probably meant for its old form, but... Totosai was ignoring me. "Um... okay then... Return, Konton no honō. Pretty please?" There was a strange noise and I swear my sword just laughed at me. But it didn't revert to the samurai version of itself.

_**Yes, childe. I did "just laugh at you." **_"The voices! Ah, god! The voices are back!" I whined dramatically.

"Konton no Hono is sentient. Another reason why its so complicated..." There was a moment's hesitation. "I do not know how I made that blade. I cannot remember any of it."

"You can't remember what you spent a week and a half doing?" I snorted. "Do you have alzheimer's disease? I think you're getting old, Toto. Maybe you should seek a healer?"

He pouted at me. "I'm not getting old! I think..." The geezer frowned. "I think that something possessed me while I worked on it." _**Yes, I did. Old fool. **_

_Stop talking in my head. It's creepy. Naraku does that enough. _I told it. In my head of course.

_**Did I hear my name? Do you need saving again, girl?**_ Naraku's voice interrupted.

"Leave me alone~!" I whined. Then I realized that I whined that out loud. Everyone was looking at me as if I were off my rocker. Which I was, but they didn't need to think it so _loudly._ "The sword's talking to me!"

_**My name is Yukan'na Kyofu. I am the spirit of the Konton no Hono. Whoever else is speaking to you telepathically I will block while we speak. **_

_Alright. _I sat down next to Sesshomaru, giving him a confused smile when he raised an eyebrow at me. I didn't know what was going on, either. Yu... Yuka... Yuki sighed at me. There was an annoyed sound in my head.

_**Yukan'na. **_He said.

_I'm just going to call you Yuki, if that's okay. _Another annoyed grunt. Then, a pop, and there was a... ball of black fire in front of my face. It had a trail of more... smoky black stuff leading back to the sheath.

"Yukan'na." It said. I assume this was the spirit. It was... kind of cute. Like a little fireball, with little eyes and a mouth. Actually, it was adorable.

"Yuki!" I replied. I kissed the top of … Well, I can't say it's head, because that's all it was, so... I kissed it. Which is awkward. Yuki looked happy though.

"Just so you know, I am very much male." Yes he was. He had a sexy voice for a... fire ball. He chuckled. "I can manifest as anything that you imagine. We are... connected, in a way."

"I didn't imagine you as a fireball."

"Subconsciously you did." I pouted at him. "We'll get to that later. It is not important for now." Just for a test, I decided that I wanted him to be a sexy man. No specifics, just a sexy man. And then there was another Sesshomaru in the room. This one with... considerably less clothing. "Really? Again?" He began muttering something about "sex drive" and "runs in the family."

Sesshomaru was glaring at me. Suddenly very daring (and probably a little suicidal) I asked him, "What, is the size not accurate?" He seemed to be... surprised, to say the least. In my mind, I specified exactly what Yuki should look like and opened my eyes. There. Black hair, silver eyes and _clothes. _Perfect. Not a carbon copy of the sexy demon I just confused.

I heard a cough to my right. Looking over, I saw that Inu Yasha and his gang were standing there, each with a blush on their face. Totosai... looked frightened. But he always looked that way around Sesshomaru. The younger members of our respective groups were outside playing, thankfully.

"At least now we know why she's hanging around Sesshomaru." Miroku chuckled nervously.

"For your information, I hang around Sesshomaru because he's awesome. And he's teaching me how to properly handle a blade. No, not that kind, perv." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well, from now on, my lord, I ask that you let me teach our young Emerald, here," Yuki input, giving a short bow to Sesshomaru.

"Hey! You're not supposed to know about that!" The spirit smirked at me.

"I know everything about you. More things than you do, in fact." He gave an evil chuckle. My eyebrow twitched. "First thing first: I am the spirit of your blade, Konton no Hono. But this isn't the first sword I have been... bound to." He gave a nonspecific wave in the general direction of Konton no Hono. "Each generation of your line gains a blade when they come of age. The blade of the parent who carried the Blood is destroyed and recrafted in the process. The... ingredient that the Smith Master uses is a mixture of the new owner's blood and the blood of the parent. It is a new thing for a fang to be added, but additives have not been uncommon throughout Our history. Your father-."

"Stop. Now." He waited obediently, a smirk still playing at his lips. "Of my line? The Blood? My father is a bus driver. He lives in California. Not medieval Japan."

"I disagree. You were... switched out for a stillborn in the world you know. There was a danger between the Clans, and they put you there to protect you. A war broke out. I am unaware of any surviving members of your Clan, but-"

I interrupted him again. "What Clan? What the hell am I, if not human?" Too much plot-line. I just wanted facts. "Better yet, how did you get reforged? My "father"'s sword can't be around here. I'm not carrying it, and you say that he's dead."I think I was in shock. I wasn't feeling any kind of surprise or anything, or the indignance that I expected. I was taking all of this too well.

Oh, well...

"To put it into simple terms, you're half demon, and half angel." Mind break... That doesn't work! "It was supposed to be impossible, but, well... Neither of your parents really liked to obey the laws of _logic." _

"Sesshomaru... is that true?" He gave me a look as if to ask "why the fuck are you asking me?" I pouted at him. "This is a little... um... not right. Anything else you'd like to tell me?"

"Yes, in fact. The 'demon' half of you is not the kind of demon you're thinking of – not like the Lord over there, or anything else you've encountered." More kinds of demons... This can't get any _better, _can it? I tapped on Totosai's wooden rack of... stuff, just to be safe. "Midoriko was a Celestial. Celestials are the general _species_ of the 'demons' and 'angels' that I mentioned."

"I have a headache. Can we talk about this later?"

"No. Because _later,_ the seal on your powers is going to rip open. You need to know what to expect. I have to tell you what should have been explained over the course of _nineteen years_, in a matter of hours. Listen carefully." I nodded. Yuki was being serious, which didn't seem to fit his character at all. "A long time ago, a war broke out among the Celestials. There was a dispute – no one quite remembers exactly what it was about – and a war emerged, splitting the Celestials in half. The 'angels' befriended humans and used them as pawns in the war. They are actually called _Invedi'ine,_ which means 'cold hunters.'

"The 'demons' did not want to get the humans involved, so they were left at a disadvantage. However, by nature, the 'demons,' _Crusilan'nakadae, _are stronger than the Hunters, so the forces were about equal." I raised my hand. "Yes, Emerald?"

"What's the Crucifix-nana-thing mean?" I was so articulate, wasn't I?

"Loyal Protectors. Anyway... the war waged on, yada, yada... A considerably shorter time ago, your mother and your father met each other on the battlefield. Your mother overpowered him, which was basically unheard of, but she refused to kill him. Your mother was a Hunter, your father a Protector," he said, before I could ask. Yuki continued, "In secret, they mated and she was impregnated with you. However, because of the war, they knew they couldn't keep you safe, so your father opened a portal to the modern world you know (he was quite proficient in the craft of dimension-rifting) and replaced you with a still-born baby before the doctors could check."

"So the Clans are the Hunters and the Protectors, that you were talking about?" Yuki nodded. "And my father had a sword, and you were attached to the sword, and now... you're here? How's that work?"

"Not long after your parents had put you in that world, were they killed. The leaders of the two Clans had discovered that they had... eloped, and had them executed. Ironic that they set themselves so far apart, yet they're so similar, hm?" Yuki gave a bitter smile. "Your father's sword, Eiko, was destroyed. At that, I was released. I was a master smith myself, when I lived, and I owed many debts to one of your ancestors, before I died. I created the first sword that was used to create the following ones and, from a distance, yours."

"You're a ghost? Cool." This time the smile was genuine. "But that doesn't explain how the sword got here. ...Also... what's going to happen to me in a few hours?"

"I summoned the remains of the sword. It was shattered into pieces, and I brought those pieces here. Then I possessed your friend there," he motioned to Tototsai, "and rebuilt it for you. Before you ask," he began with a knowing smirk, "I am bound to you. When your father died, the bond that kept me by his side was broken, and reattached to you. Only recently was I able to get to you. And only in this past week have I been able to manifest myself like this. Your powers are already beginning to unlock, and it is those that give me strength enough. No, I'm not a parasite, and _no, _I'm not weakening you.

"It is highly unlikely that you will be able to _use _any of the abilities that the seal is keeping... sealed. You haven't received the training yet. I will train you to the best of my own ability, but it is likely that you will never be as powerful as you would be, had your parents been here to teach you. I am unfamiliar with any of the training that the Hunters receive, and only _barely _familiar with that of the Protectors." I nodded. Made sense. "You will be powerful, though. I might require your assistance, Lord Sesshomaru." Yuki's questioning gaze fell upon the Inu Yokai.

The barest of nods shook his pretty hair. I wanted to hug him, but I always want to do that, so it's nothin' new. "What is it that you will be attempting to do?" Mm... sexy voice. I missed it. Well, Yuki has a sexy voice too, but I've had a huge crush on Sesshomaru for _years_, so...

"Control the output of her powers, to put it simply. I am just unsure if I will have the... necessary capability to do it by myself. If I could leech a bit off you, then..." He chuckled. "I _sound_ like a parasite... maybe I am one..."

"You may borrow the power of this Sesshomaru."

"Thank you."

"So... What kind of super special awesome power do I get?"

Yuki laughed at me. "It depends on what you inherited. We won't know until you demonstrate each one. Hopefully, most will come to you on instinct."

"What's gonna happen when the seal breaks?"

"You will feel like you're exploding. Probably." He seemed doubtful.

"You don't know at all, do you?"

"Your parents were two of the greatest Generals of each of the Clans, if not _the _greatest. If you are half as powerful as either of them, we are going to be struggling a _lot_, trying to seal you up again. However, as the powers of Hunters and Protectors clash as much as they do, I'm not sure if you're going to have much power at _all._ You might only have the ones that _both _Clans have, you might have some of each of the unique powers, you might have _all _of them, or you might not have any at _all_. The last is a moot point though, considering that you have already shown signs of accelerated healing."

"I s'pose we'll find out, then." I started glowing. Well, my stomach did. I could see it through the fabric. "... I thought you said a few hours."

"I could be wrong..."

"Duh. You _are_ wrong." And the world went black. Again. I blame Yuki.

Fecking power-rapist.

* * *

Okay, I forgot to add this in, but I'm adding it in now:

"Inu Yokai" if you didn't know, means "dog demon." (I knew this one all by myself :D)

"Konton no Hono" is "Flames of Chaos"

"Yuki" means "courage" (Reminds me of Link... XD)

"Yukan'na Kyofu" means "courageous fear"

The names of the two Clans I made up... I think they sound cool. But yeah... If it's wrong, blame Google Translate. I searched a little bit and the words seem to be right, but I can't be entirely certain.


	5. Learning Things Sucks

I woke up on something very soft. It was nice. "'ive more minu's," I mumbled.

Sesshomaru shoved me off. "Is the woman not sealed properly, yet?" His irritation showed.

"Um... I think that she's in control. She would be talking rather than... attempting to sleep on you." I could hear the amusement in Yuki's voice. I like him.

"She is awake. And can hear you. And I'm pretty sure that she is control, as well, because I feel no random urge to murder or destroy or … maim... or something." I stuck my tongue out in Sesshomaru's direction. When neither answered, I took a look at my surroundings.

A lot of things were... burned. Like, a bunch of trees, the grass, a rock... I'm not quite sure how you burn a rock, but _somebody _did it. There were several craters, as well, with body-shaped imprints at the bottom. Wait a minute...

"When did you throw me into a crater? That's not nice!" I pouted at the two sexy men. Not fair! They always win, 'cause they're sexy!

"I prefer it when I _don't_ get mutilated, so the Lord over there fought with you to keep you distracted while I concentrated sealing your power. He's received quite a few wounds for that," Yuki said, frowning as he looked over at Sesshomaru, who seemed to be nursing a scratch on his arm.

Well... he was licking it. Close enough. I assessed the damage to the best of my ability. Which wasn't much, but I try. His clothes were torn and bloody, Mokomoko was red with... well, blood, he seemed to have many cuts, scrapes and scratches, but none of them too serious and his armor was broken and lying in a pile near a creek that I could see. Damn. I must be like... godly or something, when I'm out of control. Sweet.

"Oops. My bad." Sesshomaru glared at me. "So... did you figure out what sorts of powers I have?"

Yuki glanced at me, before motioning to the craters. "High impact tolerance. Healing, as you know. Some sort of flying ability that may or may not be tied into telekinesis." His robotic, monotone voice would freak me out if I didn't find it amusing. "Atmoskinesis, at_mo_kinesis, cyro-, photo- and electro- kinesis. That's all I _witnessed,_ but you may have more. I did not see much of any of them, which may indicate that your powers, while you have many of them, are weaker overall than they would be, but that is a theory, not a fact."

"Sweet... so... can I learn to fly first?" I asked, smiling innocently at Yuki.

"I cannot teach you how. I don't know. Like I said, you'll be learning all of this instinctually. Therefore..."

"More training." Sesshomaru was approaching me with a practice sword.

"No, no, no... The sword training is the one thing I am _meant _to do. You just have to make her brain think she's in a life or death situation." Yuki said, stepping in front of me. I stuck my tongue out at him. I do what I want!

_**There you are. Again. Stop disappearing, woman.**_I jumped. Then felt stupid. _Hi, Naraku._

_**The hell are you doing now? **_

_I dunno. I'm learning what kinds of magical powers I have and like... what kind of thing-y I am, and what I can do. And now I get to be trained. Again. …Training hurts._

I heard a dark laugh in my head. You know, the evil chuckle of evilness from the great evil rapist monkey-man dude-thing. Naraku, in short.

"What are you doing, woman?" Sesshomaru was up in my grille. … I didn't think that. I swear I didn't.

"She's being communicated to telepathically by someone named Naraku."

_Now I have a hand 'round my throat. Thanks, Yuki._

_**Did Sesshomaru discover me? I'll leave you to … discuss things with him. **_Que the exiting evil chuckled of evilness... right... now.

What do you know? I was right.

"What are you plotting with Naraku?" His eyes were tinted red. I felt kinda bad, but...

"Nothin'... doin'..." He released his grip on my throat with a hiss. I looked at his palm. Looked like he had been... burned? "Is that... _light_ coming out my neck?" Yuki nodded. "Lovely. Anyway... I'm not plotting anything with Naraku. He picked me up from my world somehow, brought me here, then he trained me for like … an hour, then I ran off with you. Which is good, 'cause he looked like he wanted to rape me, and that would not be a comfortable thing."

"Hn..." Sesshomaru was glaring at me, but the red in his eyes was gone.

"Now, let me see that hand." He turned away from me. The brat. "Let me see it! The least I can do is wrap it. I mean... It's my fault it's there." Before he could turn away from me again, I grabbed onto his arm, wrapping one arm around his so I could get a good look at his hand. Speaking of... "Can't you be like... super special awesome and regrow your arm?"

I received no reply.

Looking at the wound, I did kind of feel bad for him. The skin was almost charred black and there were several bleeding cracks... Just as I thought this, all the cracks began to close, and the skin returned to the normal beautiful crème that served as Sesshomaru's skintone.

"So... I can heal other people too?" I realized then that I hadn't tried to bandage his hand; I just looked at it. Smart.

"I guess so," Yuki answered with a shrug. "Now, Emerald, it's time to train."

"No, it's time to duel." He gave me a weird look. "Yu-gi-oh reference. ...Never mind."

"Pick up Konton no Hono, if you would." I obeyed. As I did so, Yuki changed from being a normal colored person to being made of black flames. Which made him a bamf, really. His voice was also darker when he spoke. "You will defeat me. That is your goal." From his arm grew flames which morphed into a replica of my blade. This... looks familiar.

"What the hell are you, Dark Emerald? This is _not _the Water Temple! I refuse to be in the Water Temple!"

My complaints went unheeded as Yuki charged at me. He was moving faster than Sesshomaru had been, when we trained and I was unprepared for the swipe he made at me.

Konton no Hono slid from my grasp as I raised it in time for Yuki to _not_ cut off my head. He then proceeded to punch in the face. The punch knocked me down and I hissed in pain as I rose again.

"Again," he ordered. Sesshomaru was watching us with relatively bored curiosity. I glared at Yuki, rubbing my cheek.

Instead of arguing, I picked up Konton no Hono. We repeated the process.

We trained for hours. Every time I blocked Yuki's blow, my blade seemed to grow heavier. My movements were slowing down from my exhaustion and Yuki took every advantage he could. He was scary – worse than Naraku or Sesshomaru had been – and I knew he was still holding back a bit.

Most of the time, he taunted me. Called me a "weak girl" a lot. Mostly just to piss me off.

It worked, unfortunately.

"I'm bored," Yuki intoned, before knocking me down once again. "Take over for me, Sesshomaru, would you?" There was an edge to his voice now, as he looked down at me. "I _thought _you would be worth training. Your father was the greatest warrior I have ever had the glory to teach, and _you're _the most pathetic." A sneer filtered into his dark visage. "You have no skill, no strength and your _will _is _pitiful. _You do not _deserve_ your blood."

With that, he made to cut off my head, again. Honestly, I was infuriated. I was known for being happy-go-lucky and mostly insane. However, most have never seen my temper.

With a roar that I was proud of, I pushed his blade aside with Konton no Hono, and delivered a quick kick to his kneecap, which buckled. As he gave a shout of surprised pain, I gave him the hardest punch I was capable of to the nose. I felt a satisfying _crunch_ as my fist met his face, and he fell to the ground with a pleasing _thump_.

"I get that you're some spirit of some great _person, _and I _get _that you've served _awesome _leaders that I have no _idea _of, and I _understand," _here, my voice switched to a hiss, "that I'm not the greatest fucking _warrior. _However," I began, raising my voice to a snarl, "I will not!" I kicked him in the groin as he began to stand. "Be talked to like I'm completely fucking _useless!_"

Yuki sneered at me and began to open his mouth but I interrupted. "No! I haven't gone through _any_ of the training they went through. I was born, according to any who _knew _me, a _human. _I've lived nineteen _years_ as a human! Just because _you_ _think _I'm notfucking _good enough, _doesn't mean I'm _not. _I am so _sick _and _tired _of people telling me who I can and cannot _be._" I ignored the random memories that popped up. They weren't important, and it was high time I _forgot _about the false life I'd led. _I hate fate._

To my surprise, Yuki started laughing. With his laughter, the black flames that made him look positively _evil_ faded away, leaving the normal-looking Yuki with a silly grin on his face. "I _knew _it. I _knew _you'd do well." He popped up and gave me a hug. "I have to apologize for my behavior, but it was a test. One I give to every one who comes across a blade of your family." He paused, smile fading to a serious look. "The ones who are given blades become the leaders of your family. The Head, if you will."

I nodded, not seeing where he was going. I did, however, believe he was about to do one of those sappy lesson-teaching things, though.

"Their confidence in themselves is important. They need to believe in their strengths, even against those who are superior to them. It would be embarrassing to the whole family if their leader got cowed by anyone who was, supposedly, in a higher position than them. Which is why I did that. I needed to know if you would continue to let me bully you, or if you would finally stick up for yourself." Here, Yuki's grin came back and he let out a short chuckle. "That is the _fastest_ I've _ever _seen one of you do it. Usually, it takes a few weeks. Almost always, though, the stubbornness is inherent and they don't take too long to backtalk." The man seemed relieved, at the very least.

"At least I know where I got the whole 'I'm not scared of you 'cause you're stronger than me' thing," I replied.

"Exactly. Now, on to _real _training. Where I teach you finesse instead of telling you to figure it out yourself. Actually," Yuki paused, looking thoughtful. "Figuring it out yourself might be the best idea. Your blade is named after Chaos for a reason, methinks. You've already learned much here today."

I smiled. I loved praise. Made me feel like a job well done. My dad – the human one – had given me very little praise, but I always knew when he was really proud of me. Made me feel proud of myself. I bit back the tears that came with the thought of never seeing my human family again. I'd get over it eventually...

Anyway...

"So I get to... what? Defend myself again?" I snorted, giving a little pout afterward. I was in very much pain. Nothing life-threatening, I assumed, but I had a lot of injuries. Er... bruises and scratches, really.

"You'll watch me and try to copy what I do." I gave him a look that said "You're a crazy." He took it to mean "begin, please," I guess, because that's what he did. He... began.

My eyelid twitched as my eye muscles tried to track his movements. They failed. When he told me to try, I sat down. "Do it again, please?" Refusing, he dragged me to my feet and ordered me to copy him.

I stuck my tongue out at him. Remembering vaguely how he had turned in place and swung his sword, I gracelessly copied it. Poorly. As in I turned around and pointed Konton no Hono in a random direction.

Yuki sighed at me. "This is going to take a while..."

* * *

There we go. That's acceptable.

I'm working on the next chapter as we speak... Er... As you read. Or maybe not. As I post this! Thar we go!

Anyway, I'm sorry about the bad update. I'll try to be good in the future, but I can't promise anything. Reviews do inspire me, so if you're feeling inspiring, I would love a chat. :D

It's less the actual reviewing and more that people care enough to you know... write stuff back? Gives me this warm, fuzzy feeling inside... Er... A happy one, at least.

I'm nuts, I'm writing and I'm ... I can't think of anything else.

yamixtsuki signing off!

For now.


	6. Stranger Danger

"Finally!" I cheered. Yuki said I finally got it down! Hoorah! Look at me now!

"You look stupid." Oh, apparently I said that last bit out loud. Oopsie.

I'd been trying to do the flashy spinny trick for a few hours now, and it was nighttime and I was hungry but Yuki wouldn't let me stop until I did it right. "Gimme food now?" I asked him hopefully. He pointed in the general direction of Totosai's cave.

"I am _not _asking that _dumb ho_ for food. She's a..." Sesshomaru was walking away, toward Totosai's place with Yuki trailing not far behind him. I followed along unhappily. I'm such a pushover.

* * *

"Inu Yasha! Be polite!" Kagome yelled.

"Why? She's hanging around with _Sesshomaru!_" Inu Yasha argued.

"Sit boy!"

It would have been funny if I didn't hate the broad. "Now, now, kiddies. That's not nice." I was looking at Kagome with a disapproving look.

"Shut up, you-"

"Sit," Kagome interrupted the red-clothed half-demon.

I frowned at her. "You're going to give him back problems," I sneered.

"Would you prefer I let him insult you?" she hissed back. Ooh... Feisty. I had this covered, though. I hate her _so _much.

"Yes, actually." I grinned at her with evil intent. "I think it's funny." For all his spouting of nonsense, Inu Yasha looked grateful.

"Fine, then."

And she stormed off. Little brat.

"Thanks," Inu Yasha muttered.

"No prob," I replied, giving him a genuine smile. Sesshomaru walked in, noticed his brother sitting near me and glared at us both before he walked out. _Idiot..._

"What was _that _about?" Inu Yasha inquired, looking at me doubtfully.

"He has... Do you think he can hear me?" My tone reflected my caution. Inu Yasha nodded, leaning in secretively. I shook my head. I did _not _want to get on Sesshomaru's irritated side. It's bad enough that I'm already on his _bad_ side for existing. Not that it _looks_ bad, but...

Never mind.

Inu Yasha looked a little put out on not getting dirt on his brother. Which isn't to say that I _had_ dirt on his brother; he just thought I did. Silly little half-demon. I snickered mentally.

"So... Is there any way I can bum food off you?"

"'Bum?' What's that?"

"Er... mooch? Steal? Ask and ye shall receive?" He gave me an odd look, but handed over one of the three fish he had caught and cooked for himself.

"Thank you." I smiled at him. He looked a little uncomfortable with that, so my grin widened. And evilled. ...It's a word now, so shut up. "Inu _Yasha_, are you _shy?" _I asked him, enlongating the vowel in "shy" and putting it in an evil sickly-sweet voice.

He scoffed at me, all signs of discomfort disappearing. "Why would I be shy around a girl with your ugly face?" he retorted.

"You should be glad that I don't have any self-esteem issues, because there are many things that I could _do _to you that _would not_ be pleasant." I smiled at him again. I was bluffing, but I'm a good female actor when I need to be. Er... when I'm being cruel to little half-demons who I'm mildly fond of.

For a moment, he looked worried. Then he returned to his "aloof mask" and proceeded to turn away from me.

"Anyway... Do you..." I began, then failed to form the question properly. Stupid grammar OCD-ness... "Are you in love with that chick?" I asked. Blunt, but I liked being to-the-point.

Inu Yasha blushed a bit, but it wasn't that "Oh em gee, you figured it out!" kind of blush. It was that "you're talking to me and I don't know anything about what you're talking about" kind of blush. Cute, really. "No," he spat. Rather viciously, in fact.

"Kay. Just checking." He gave me an odd look, but I hummed a tune and he got over it.

Silly half-demon.

* * *

"So... these life-threatening situations really do work," I commented, looking at Sesshomaru's bloody palm. He was bleeding because he decided to grab my throat _again_, even after the _last three_ times that my skin burned him. He's like... untrainable. Entirely.

Sesshomaru responded to me with an icy, sexy glare. I swear he is made of sexy. He opened his pretty mouth to give his retort, but it went unheard because there was this really loud blasting sound and some guy covered in evil-looking stuff stepped out of other evil-looking stuff, grinning insanely at me.

Before you ask: No, it wasn't Naraku.

This guy was... large. Like... that kind of big that comes with a little extra body fat, and a hell of a lot of muscle underneath. He was bald, but he had this ugly beard thing going on that made me want to pull out a razor.

My hand twitched with the idea. Before I could make any smart ass comment that could get me killed, the guy unwittingly saved me from his own wrath.

"Well, well, if it isn't the _Beli-ani_ of the _Alia'antirea. _Never thought I'd have to look upon such a disgusting thing again," the man sneered, laughing at his own... "wit."

"Yuki... What the fuck is he talking about?" I half-asked, half-whined to my trainer. Speaking of, he looked rather frightened of this guy.

"You don't know?!" Fatso seemed to find this very amusing for some reason, and he laughed loudly about it.

"_Beli-ani _is 'family leader.' _Alia'anitirea_ is the Family of your father. Since you are the lone survivor, you are now the leader," Yuki explained with a grimace.

Sesshomaru let out an annoyed noise, proceeding to draw Tokijin and fly at the unwelcome newcomer. With another annoying loud laugh, the evil man knocked Sesshomaru back with a hefty blade that _had _to be compensating for something. Three feet wide and however many feet long (I couldn't tell, exactly), the thing was a new definition for the term "two-handed weapon." Sesshomaru landed on his feet, of course, and charged with a bit more anger than before.

Again, he was knocked down. This time, however, Fat'n'Evil managed to swing the blade across the Demon Lord's middle, cracking his armor and giving him a nice slice through his middle. This spurred Yuki into action and he took his copy of Konton no Hono, intending on driving it through the bastard's... everything.

I, however, was too busy trying to overcome the shock that Sesshomaru had been bested – however minimally – in battle. I didn't like it, and I certainly didn't like the guy that did it.

When I saw Yuki get knocked down as well, and Sesshomaru hadn't yet decided to move, I called out to the bastard, intent on keeping him from harming my... friends. "Hey, fuckhead!" Not the smartest thing ever, but I'm not all that great at the "save your own skin" thing. Better at lucking out and barely surviving.

The guy glared in my direction. "Hey, you're the one that answered to it." I shrugged. He thought it over a few seconds before realization struck through the shine in his eyes and his glare intensified.

Moron. I hate stupid people.

"You should watch your mouth about your betters, missy," he growled, stalking toward me like... a stalker. Okay, like a predator. He's a creeper.

"I can't watch my mouth without a mirror. Care to give me one?" I smiled falsely at the dangerous... thing. He gave me a monstrous grin.

"I think I'll remove your tongue, instead," he returned. Then he dashed at me – about as fast as Sesshomaru does when he's annoyed at me – with his blade in hand. I assumed he meant to make good on his threat. Like the good coward I am, I ran away.

Er... I tried to. He managed to pin me with my back against a rock wall, the maniacal gleam in his eyes serving to freak me out.

"Can't we just... put the past behind us and be friends?" I asked, nerves bringing my voice up a few notes. Pissed me off...

When his smile widened, I tightened my grip on Konton no Hono. This fucker is _not _going to kill me now. I don't intend on dying a virgin. Before I marched into my death, however, I sent out a plea.

_Hey, Naraku? Could you help me? I'm about to die..._

There was no reply, and I was a little too slow to block the fist from the man I was ignoring. I swear my jaw broke, but my magical healing powers made it so that _nothing _lasted very long (even food *sad face*) and I didn't feel the searing pain for very long.

The punch threw me a good six feet away and I scrambled to my feet as fast as I could, attempting to dodge the blade that he swung at me. Which I did, thankfully. I checked up on Sesshomaru, who was in beautiful unconsciousness and Yuki, who, apparently, had a broken leg. Rather, I assume it was bone that was poking out and I was grateful that Yuki wasn't awake to see it himself – or feel it.

It's the little things. Like not dying.

Speaking of... I dodged again, doing a crappy twirl as I did so bring momentum into my swing with Konton no Hono. It struck his blade and did nothing but send an uncomfortable vibration up my arm. Deciding that this was not the best course of action, I backed up and tried to put some space between myself and my enemy.

Said enemy was laughing, advancing on me like a pedo on school grounds. Yes, that's what he reminded me of. "You're a feisty one, aren't you?" He grinned with dagger-like teeth.

Then I realized something. "You're a... _Inve-... In veal... _Erm... Hunter. Yeah, that!"

"_Invedi'ine, _foolish girl. And you're _Crusilan'nakadae _scum. What's your point?" His smile went away. I felt better, now that I had made him unhappy. Like I said: It's the little things.

"I'm both, actually, idget. Half and half. You mind telling me the powers of a Hunter and how to use them?" It was worth a shot. Worst case he says no and kills me. Which he was going to do, anyway.

He laughed. He seemed really happy for no reason. Fucker. "I can't believe this! I venture on to Earth to kill time, and then I find the _Krusnik-alianire! _This is great!" He cheered. I half expected him to reach up and pat himself on the back.

"Well, fuck. I assume that they're looking for me?" He nodded with an evil grin. He's so creepy... "Yuki lied to me! They _are _still alive. Just after my blood. Damn it."

"Who's after your blood, girl?" asked a creepy voice from behind me.

"Naraku!" I ran over to him. "Would you mind doing a rescue mission, please? Like... saving me, Yuki and Sesshomaru over there? Pretty please?" Naraku gave me an odd look, but nodded. I dunno why he agreed to it, but I guess he liked me. Or expected me to do something for him later.

With an evil grin of his own, Naraku waved goodbye to the Hunter, summoning some kind of teleporty power that he has and well... teleported the three of us. I landed on my ass in the room that he put us in, shaky and not used to teleportation as I was. Naraku laughed at my misfortune.

"So... what now?"

"You owe me much, girl."

"I know. I'm not... a ho. As in I won't sleep with you, if that's what you want." Naraku wrinkled his nose in mild disgust. I laughed at him. "Good. So... what do you want?"

"Tell me of your world. It interests me."

"Alright, then. You remember the T.V. Thing?" He nodded. "Well, there's a lot of technology in my world..."

* * *

Well, that's done. I uploaded a bit more on chapter five, and I'm unclear as to whether or not it tells you that if you're following the story. If not, please go back and read the rest of chapter five. :D

Like I always say, reviews are nice for lonely authors like me to receive, so please send me one. I hope you have a good day, night, afternoon or whatever you want to call the time you read this, and I hope a bit more that you enjoyed my story.

No, I'm not done. XD Anyway, I'll talk to you guys later.


	7. Melancholy Leads to My Death

Sesshomaru woke up in the middle of our discussion, finding himself healed and placed on a comfortable mat, otherwise undisturbed. At first he wanted to kill Naraku again, but decided against it once he figured out that Naraku had brought all of us to where we were. The evil man was safe from Sexy's wrath for the moment.

Yuki was very much amused by anything and everything, so he didn't make too much of a fuss.

Me... I just kept talking about my world, 'cause that's what Mon-kun wanted. Sesshomaru pretended not to have any interest, but once in a while I would say something that was very different from his world and he would glance over, a glint of curiosity in his golden eyes.

Naraku was amused, as well, and he asked me many questions. When I mentioned something about "protection" and how it had helped the humans get a hold on their baby-making, he seemed very interested in the idea of a condom.

"What is a 'condom'" – he seemed to have trouble saying the word – "made of?"

"Erm... rubber. That's a slang term for them, by the way. 'Rubbers.'" He gave me an odd look. "It's an artificial thing. Like steel. Man-made." When he seemed even more confused, I gave up. "All you need to know is that it's stretchy and prevents semen from getting into a woman!" I snapped, face flaming.

"But _how?"_ he emphasized, curiosity gleaming in his expression.

"Go get some and figure it out yourself," I told him. He seemed to mull over this idea for a moment before nodding. I did a facepalm. I could _not_ see Naraku walking into a convenience store and asking the clerk where they kept the condoms. Actually... I could. When I started laughing, Naraku glared at me, but said nothing.

He knew how insane I was.

"Woman," Sesshomaru ordered from his spot six feet away. I don't even _know_ how he made the word woman into a command, but he did. Maybe 'cause he's demanding. "We need to return."

I nodded. We'd only been at Naraku's for an hour or two, but I had remembered that Rin was somewhere with Inu Yasha, and that meant that she couldn't be safe. All the red-clothed half-demon did was attract danger. "Naraku? Would you... teleport us back, please?"

"What do I get in return?" he asked, pedo smile in place.

"A hug?"

Sesshomaru muttered something, but it was so quiet, I almost believed he hadn't said anything at all. "What was that?" I asked him. He replied with an icy glare. "Jeez... Forget I asked, then..." I gave him a small pout before turning back to Naraku.

"I suppose I will send you back. I do not require a... 'hug.'" He seemed to detest the idea. I gave him one anyway. Because I knew it annoyed him.

"You do require a hug. Everyone requires them. It releases endorphines which make people feel better. It's a good reason to hug anyone and everyone, really," I ranted, pleased when he seemed confused.

He then teleported us away. Probably because I was annoying. Oh, well...

He's a rapist, so I'm okay with being annoying.

* * *

"Rin missed Lord Sesshomaru and Yami!" Rin yelled.

I was happy that she still called me Yami. I'm getting rather tired of being called "woman" or "Emerald." (Even if that was my real name...)

"Yami missed Rin as well!" I called, hugging the little girl with glee. I didn't even smack Jaken for asking why I was back. Well... maybe a little. ...A lot...

Sesshomaru had to stop me, actually. Although I swear he didn't really want to; it was probably some weird duty thing that he had. Despite his flaws, I think Sesshomaru's a responsible Demon Lord. … Forget it.

Anyway, after that happy reunion, I found out that Inu Yasha's kiddies had watched over Rin whilst the three of us were gone. I patted Inu Yasha on the head for it, and he tried to bite me. I thought that was rather rude of him, actually.

Hurt my wittle feelings. Can you detect the sarcasm?

So, we sat around the campfire that night, together. Or rather, Rin and Shippo ran around, laughing and chasing one another while Inu Yasha bitched at Shippo and Kagome bitched at Inu Yasha and Miroku got slapped repeatedly.

Sesshomaru, Jaken and Yuki sat away from the happy group of mostly friends in silence. Actually, Yuki went to sleep, Jaken was unconscious and Sesshomaru was glaring at the oxygen atoms in the air.

I sat away from the rest of them, enjoying the quiet night (despite the noisy group) and mostly the wild. Deciding I needed some time away from the rest of them, I walked away from both groups, following a stream with the intention of not getting lost in the world I didn't know.

As I walked, I mulled over the events these past months have brought. Teleported to a land created by, to my knowledge, Rumiko Takahashi, captured by a villain who seemed very un-villainous and somehow ending up a companion of the sexiest man of any anime I've ever seen. Honestly, it seemed like a pretty good deal.

I was happy with it. But I just kind of go along with everything. Try to be unassuming and maybe it was PMS, maybe it was the whole almost-dying thing, but I missed my family.

When I got satisfyingly away from the rest of them, I sat down on a rock and cried my heart out. … Well, I tried to, but the tears wouldn't really come, and I wasn't feeling _sad_, just melancholic.

For a long while, I sat on that rock and thought of my life. Not the weird shit that had been happening to me in recent months, but more the stuff that had happened to me since the day I was born.

I lived with my unloving mother for many years of it. Then I moved in with the smiling, responsible man I had come to know as "daddy." I changed, then. It was when I was just hitting puberty and I was moody and hateful and spiteful. And then I changed again.

I would like to think that my father, not the blood one, but the one who had _lived _with me, was proud of who I was. I _know _he would be understanding. He's just awesome like that. But to be _proud _of me, no matter who I was? That's what I hoped for.

Suddenly disgusted with my weepy self and the dramatic meanderings of my mind, I slapped my hands on my cheeks.

"It doesn't matter how much I want to know what he would think," I told myself, "I can't go back and ask him. I..." I paused, thinking a moment. "I belong here. Now, if I hadn't before. That's good enough for me." I laughed. "Never really fit in with the normal people, anyway."

With that said, a sort of sad acceptance came over me. _I am who I am, _I thought, _And I wouldn't change it even if you asked me to._

"That's all well and great, girl," spoke a cold baritone from behind me, "but you're not going to be here much longer. It's time for your day of reckoning." I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder, and I knew that whoever it was had knocked me unconscious.

The laugh that my senses last registered frightened me to the core.

The Hunters had come for me.

* * *

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was severe pain. It started in my spine and flared outward. There were separate bits of pain everywhere else and I had a splitting headache, but all of this was a sideshow; the pain that made me let out a shriek that hurt _my _ears was that radiating form my back.

"Oh, she woke up," said a blur to my left. I wanted to murder it. I would have done anything it told me to. Torture. I knew torture.

"Put her back to sleep," snapped a voice on the other side of me. I tried to focus on the rest of what they were saying, but the pain spiked and I was unable to concentrate. I wasn't really sure how I caught the first bit, anyway.

Letting out another scream that made my mouth taste of copper, I welcomed the black that beckoned me.

_Anything... please..._

Oblivion came over me, and the terrible pain gave way to sweet numbness.

* * *

"Wake up," called a soft, melodic voice. I noted the acid behind the sweet notes with a shot of irritation. When I did not answer, the voice came in a shout, "Wake up, you disgusting _whore!"_

The sting in my cheek told me I had been slapped. My eyes snapped open and I let a growl out to the most angelic and hateful face I have ever seen. At my look, she slapped me again. I had the most irresistible urge to rip her hands and stuff them up her ass.

However, when I made to do so, pain ripped through my anger and caused me to fall again to the … table I was on. The pain wasn't as bad as before and it faded quickly enough. I avoided shifting my back muscles, however.

"_Finally," _a male voice hissed. "It's about time you woke up, wretch. You are going to be executed today." There was a sick smile on this angelic face. Actually, his face reminded me of those cats with their faces pushed in. Too much in too little space.

Before it even got to my brain, my reply was out of my mouth: "Fuck you."

"Naughty, naughty," said the girl, laughing in cold soprano tones. It irritated me and I wanted to remove her vocal cords. She slapped me again, and I felt the claws rake my skin, the blood giving testament that she had broken the skin.

Before I had much time to speak, there were ropes wrapping around my arms and legs.

"Is it finally done?" asked a purple-haired Hunter. His eyes surveyed the scene with boredom.

"Is what done? What did you do to me?" I demanded. I counted the five seconds it took for the blonde bitch to slap me again. So predictable.

"We are removing the contamination on our glorious species that you have created by existing," she informed me. For a moment, her haughty expression reminded me of Draco Malfoy. Then I realized that she was more annoying and felt bad for insulting the Primadonna as I had. Draco, that is.

I snorted at her. "Of course."

"Do not speak unless spoken to, _Krusnik-alianire,_" the purple-haired one growled. If he weren't such a dickhead, I might even think he was hot. Under the circumstances, I figured that that was an inappropriate thought if ever there was one.

He did not slap me, but his tone told the story of how much pain I would be in, if I bothered him any more.

With a word to the other two in a language I could not comprehend, he stalked from the room, my bound body chasing after him.

We came upon a stadium that was filled with Hunters. Didn't Yuki say there was some great war and most of them died?

Well, there were hundreds of them – perhaps thousands. As the purple-haired man walked out into the crowd, it parted. All the people seemed to have sharp objects to throw. Some of them hit the man using his magic on me, and it pissed me off.

Disloyal bastards.

The jeers and cheers and hateful calls only got louder as we journeyed on through the stadium. The items thrown only got heavier, sharper, more brutal. Throughout it all, I notice that the man with me stared straight ahead, emotionless.

At the center of the stadium was a stage, and I was briefly reminded of the stages that were used in Shakespeare's time. It was here we stopped, and the man climbed the stairs with me in tow with little hesitation. I was made to stand and a noose was placed about my neck. I shook with fear so much that I could not move.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I welcome you," boomed a deep male voice. I cringed in pain as it spoke. Whatever was going on with my back, the voice was loud enough to cause tangible vibrations and it hurt twice as much to stand. "It is time for the _krusnik-alianire_ to meet its end." Cheers rose up again, but died off fast enough. I could sense the anticipation in the air – the anticipation for my death.

"Long have we suffered its existence," he hissed, "but no more shall we have to abide it!" The calls shook me in a way I had never been shaken before.

"Like an animal to the slaughter," I murmured under my breath. _No choice, no hope..._

I was in deep, deep trouble, and I didn't even know where the fuck I was.

* * *

I'm sorry for the drama, but it had to be done, I'm afraid. Plot line and all that.

I hate drama.

Anyway... as per usual, I would like a review. Actually, the only reason I posted this chapter was because I got a review. Just one XD They make me happy, and then I like to make readers happy (I think) and post a new chapter.

I didn't do it intentionally, it just kind of happens... Please review? Please? I don't even know where this story is going anymore... It's writing itself, actually.

Pretty please? *puppy dog eyes*


	8. Chapter of Changing Perspective

Okay, so I did what I wanted to do in this chapter. Unfortunately, it came to 400 words shorter than I wanted it. I can't help it, though. It did what I wanted it to in less words! Xp

Anywho... I added in a little bit of Sesshomaru, to spice things up. Not really...

But he's oh so sexy. And yeah... :D

* * *

The speech giver gave a long speech. After a while, my impending doom seemed to be something very useful. I just wish they would hurry up with it. I was tired of hearing that guy go _on and on _about all the atrocities I've committed. Which I _haven't _actually committed, but what the hell. I'll go along with it until I can get away with arguing.

Besides that, the pain in my back just increased with every second I stood up on the stage, which was coupled with the bruises and cuts from all the things thrown at me. I shifted my stance, wincing as the … wounds... on my back were disturbed. I really had no idea what was going on with it; it just hurt and, when I concentrated on it, it felt like something was _missing._

Instead of focusing on the speech or the pain, I tried to rivet my attention on the missing-ness. I considered random ideas that popped into my head. I knew no bones were missing, as all my muscles were fully functional. There wasn't any blood, but I wondered if they had removed the skin on my back and perhaps burned the flesh beneath so that it would not make a mess.

But the pain on my back was not _stinging _like that of a burn or scraped-off skin. It reminded me more of the ache that came when I had gotten my wisdom teeth out. That pain had made me cry in helplessness – there was nothing to do to relieve myself of the pain except take a pill and wait.

Now, I had no pill to take, and it _still _felt like I had gotten six thousand teeth removed. From my back. Which was impossible, because I had no teeth on my back.

The amusement that this thought brought was enough to make me mentally chuckle and forget a moment of pain. I was unsure of _how, _exactly, it was that I was still standing, but I wasn't about to change it. I didn't want to fall and kill myself. That was _their _job.

With that thought, I noticed the rising resentment in my heart for these people. The Hunters. I hated them for what they were doing to me. I held onto the anger as much as I could. The adrenaline could be useful, at the very least. It would help the pain – that's one way that people could perform the impossible, adrenaline.

Finally the speech ended. The cheers echoed around me, and I felt almost as if I were an ancient warrior in the Colosseum. Then I remembered they were cheering for my death, and I was less a warrior and more a coward.

Fear filled my heart, all-consuming.

A lever was pulled. The ground gave way beneath me. A mouth opened up to scream.

A snap, and the mouth was silent.

Death was the punishment for my existence, and the punishment had been served.

* * *

Sesshomaru was very annoyed. In fact, he was livid. He did not like it when others touched his things, and the "hunter" that had knocked him _unconscious_ had _injured _something that belonged to _Sesshomaru. _

In his annoyance, Sesshomaru let out a hissing growl. _No one_ bested the Lord of the West in battle and lived to tell the tale. But the girl had called _Naraku _of all people and escaped. The coward.

And now the girl had _disappeared. _Without a word, she walked off, and there was a scent of magic and those "hunters" before her scent dissipated.

With another growl of annoyance, Sesshomaru threw all of his strength into the next blow he landed on Moryomaru, shattering Tokijin in the process. This served to irritate him even more, and he threw the blade aside, watching Moryomaru flee with a bored expression.

The girl had been the cause of a lot of changes lately, and Sesshomaru was very much through with it all. Let her die; he didn't care.

_But don't you?_ Whispered a voice in the back of his mind.

Sesshomaru ignored it.

* * *

Sesshomaru glanced at the blade at his side. The girl had forgotten it when she was... kidnapped, and Sesshomaru had taken to carrying it around.

Konton no hono was silent and the man the girl had called Yuki did not appear. It made sense – he had said that he was only in existence because he fed off the excess power that the girl let off. A thought crossed his mind...

Noting that Rin and Jaken were safe for the moment, hiding with the rest of his brother's friends, Sesshomaru let his hand fall onto the hilt of the blade. When it did not reject him as it had done before, he drew the blade.

He watched it, waiting for the signs of its transformation. When the blade remained dormant, Sesshomaru growled at it and re-sheathed it. He did not need it; he had a Meido to complete.

_Useless._ thought Sesshomaru. What use was a blade that could not resurrect Rin? He could not even fight with it now that Tetsusaiga had taken Meido Zangetsuha from it.

Sesshomaru had the childish urge to throw the blade in a lake somewhere and forget about it. But no, he resisted, that would be disrespectful to Father, and that would not do. Someone had to show Inu Yasha how to act. Kami knew that his friends were useless for that.

Sesshomaru stalked off, ignoring Inu Yasha when he called for his attention.

He had a little girl to protect, anyway. That boy was not getting anywhere _near_ Sesshomaru's Rin if he could help it.

* * *

Inu Yasha and his gang watched in awe as Sesshomaru's arm regrew, a blade appearing in his left hand as it did so.

Sesshomaru gave a dark smirk as the blade known as Bakusaiga ripped through Magatsuhi, leaving a trail of destructive power behind. As the enemy tried to reform, the body was destroyed and Sesshomaru was successful in owning a sword of his very own. Finally.

Sesshomaru eyed the blade appreciatively. A sense of _finalization _filled the demon lord and he sheathed the blade before stalking away.

Explosive Smashing Fang, indeed.

* * *

For a long while I floated in darkness. I assumed that Death, indeed, was the emptiness I had imagined it as before I died. Which felt odd to think, but who cares? I have all the time in... the eternal darkness... to think, didn't I?

For a while, I pretended to be some weird God (or Goddess, but I didn't like that word) and I imagined a world created by my mind, filled with little people that did little things for the One who had created them. Until they forgot about me and I got bored.

I spared many thoughts to Sesshomaru and the world that I was meant to be in. I wondered how close Inu Yasha and Kagome were to assembling the rest of the jewel and how soon it would be to Naraku's death.

I wonder a lot of things, a lot.

While I floated, I felt as though I had no body. I had no senses – I couldn't see anything, smell anything or move, really. And I didn't think that trying to taste anything would help. I tried speaking, but no sound came.

Actually, I really felt like I was in the void of space. Minus the stars and such. And the body.

Anyway... I don't know how long I spent there. I mean it _felt _like forever, but me and my crazy mind have lots of ways of distracting ourselves. Yes. _Our_selves. Tee hee.

So after like a thousand different scenarios in my head, a bright light shone in front of me. Of course, the first thing to pop into my head was "Don't look into the light!" but I ignored. Then I realized it wasn't appearing in front of me.

It was all fuzzy and narrow. Like I was opening my eyes.

Which I realized was _exactly_ what was happening.

"Are you alright?" asked a male voice. I let out a croaking groan in reply. "Yeah, it'll hurt for a while. The Hunters aren't all that kind in way of punishments. I'm actually surprised that you're _alive, _at all. But that may have more to do with your blood than anything..." He rambled on, but I was distracted by his pretty. I mean... I've met Sesshomaru, so I _know _pretty men, but _damn. _

New definition for the term "pretty boy."

I looked around the room I was in, instead of focusing too much and getting distracted by pretty people. In a corner of the room sat an old, wise-looking woman who vaguely reminded me of Kaede. Beside her sat her Mate (and I'm not sure how I knew they were together – I just _did), _a crooked old man with a set of laugh-lines and an amused twinkle. The room itself looked like ruins – covered in vines and made of cracked brick the color of Egyptian Pyramids.

"You're in the Healing Altar, young miss. And good thing, too," said the elder woman. I nodded, ignoring the sharp pain that shot threw me as I did so. "Your neck was snapped when they... executed you. However, no lasting damage has been done." She hesitated. "Rather, if it had been, it is gone now, due to the Powers here, or your own."

"Who," I began, cringing at the death-like sound that came from me. The rambling male pressed a cool glass of water to my lips which I drank from greedily. "Who are you?" I managed.

"Can you not guess for yourself, childe?" spoke the old man. His accented voice and the aura around him somehow led me to believe that he was a leader. I studied their outfits carefully, noting the differences and _similarities _to the garb most of the Hunters had worn.

"Protectors," I answered.

"We prefer Crusilan'nakadae, actually," he replied with a genuine grin.

I fainted. Again.

Fml.

* * *

Ohhh... did I just add plot-line? I did. I honestly didn't even think of that last ... section until five minutes ago. But it will do well because it's a good spontaneous idea. I think. XD

Reviews, please? I loves them. I really do. Encouragement makes me write. Even if I have writer's block and a cramp in my hand from drawing and coloring too hard for a few hours. *twitch*

I love you people! Really. I love having readers. People that will read this willingly. XD I tried to make my boyfriend read it and he was really bored. Made me sad.

I love you, and goodbye. For now.


	9. Family Issues

I was awakened by the feeling of water on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a soft blue room, being cared for by the sexiest woman I will ever see. I was a happy camper. Then I remembered that I wasn't really into girls and I was slightly disappointed.

"You're an odd one," commented she, giving a soft, luxurious chuckle. Is it weird that I wanted to pet her laugh? It sounded so fluffy... "My name is Jezika." I spell it that way because that's how it sounded. The way she said it was as though... "I can read your mind, childe." Oh my lord! She had the same accent as the leader-guy.

"And I can read your mind, as well," his voice informed me. "It is a gift we all share, and we will teach you to block it. We will teach you a great many things, if you are who we believe you are."

"And who am I?" I asked him.

"You are the current Beli-ani of the Alia'anitirea," he stated simply. I swear, the language of these people was so effing complicated. Or I just had trouble pronouncing things.

"I am the Belly-thing. Of the other complicated word," I replied. "But I'm not quite sure what that means."

"I am Corvelle," said the old guy. "I used to be the Beli-ani of your Family, but I have since retired from that and become an Elder."

"... Are you... related to me?" I asked, feeling something click into place.

"Yes. Do you know _who _the Alia'anitirea are?" he asked, serious expression darkening his face and ridding it of the youthful humor I had seen before. "Do you know what it means to us, the Crusilan'nakadae?"

"No," I said, "Yuki never got a chance to tell me."

"I am... in essence, a great grandfather of yours. Furthermore, the Alia-anitirea are, basically, the Royalty of the Protectors."

I just about had a heart-attack then. I was _not _royalty material. And if I was the _leader_... "Am I a king?"

My absurd question was met with laughter. "If you were, you'd be a mighty feminine one. No, you would be a queen. Would be, but are not. In your absence, the next member of the family has been elected to rule in your stead."

I felt a great flash of relief come over me. "Thank the gods above. Or over there." I pointed in a random direction. "Where are we, anyway?"

"Before you ask, you will not be expected to resume the Royal duties. And we are in a different Realm from your world, and that of your love, Sesshomaru."

I almost denied it, then realized that he could read my mind and gave up. I could take embarrassment. Nothin' new.

"You're a good childe," he remarked, laughing. "Perhaps you would enjoy learning of what has happened to you?"

I nodded.

Knowledge was power, right?

* * *

It turned out that I had wings. Emphasis on _had. _The Hunters removed them, which is why I felt like something was missing off my back.

Yuki lied to me! I could fly 'cause I had wings. I had a bit of a pout session about it, but I got over it. It wasn't anything key to my survival, so I figured I'd be alright. I wished I could have done it consciously just once, but there was no use crying over spilled milk.

They taught me a lot of things. Mostly about their culture. There were a few powers that they taught me to control, a bit.

In accordance with my energetic self (they shortly learned never to give me caffeine), they taught me how to manipulate electricity. Which was awesome. They did teach me how to block people from reading my mind (which I thought would be awesome to use against Naraku) and I managed to fling someone across the room in a bout of anger with my mind.

He was making fun of me, and he was a complete douche, so I didn't feel too bad about skewering him on a spear. He would live... with a scar. A very nice scar that I grinned evilly at every time I saw it.

They also explained to me that Naraku had, at some point, absorbed a Hunter who had Realm-bending abilities and that's how he was able to capture me. In addition, he was drawn to _me _(as in he was brought to the Realm close to me) because I had inherited a power from my father that allowed me to do the same.

It was this that I trained on the most. I was intent on returning to Sesshomaru. The other Protectors were happy to assist me.

Most of them didn't like me. Grandfather (as I had taken to calling him) was rather pleased to have me around, but he was one Elder among twenty, and the other nineteen of them disliked having a half-breed among their people.

It was less that I was _only _half Protector, but more that I was _half-Hunter._ The feud ran deep.

These people were averse to killing their kin, however, and allowed me to stay until I got a bit of training in. Honestly, I think they were just afraid of what I meant. Most of them seemed to like me as a person, but whenever I said something about my father, they got all freaky and ran away.

I felt like some weird mix of a Severitus version of Harry Potter and Alice from Alice in Wonderland (the one with Johnny Depp in it.)

Actually, it was kind of fun and it got people to leave me alone, so I mentioned my father and/or mother often.

It was two weeks into the training that I was finally ready to teleport (because that's pretty much what Realm-bending was about) back to my favorite dog demon. I hoped he would still allow me to hang around. I wasn't done tormenting him, yet.

They gave me a couple books that were copies of information on the powers of both Hunters and Protectors.

As much as they didn't like my mixed blood, they really seemed to be the family sort. The kind that watched out for each other. It made me warm and fluffy inside.

By the way, that sexy lady was my cousin. I stopped thinking of her as sexy after I was told that. Mostly.

The goodbye was not sorrowful, but it wasn't really cheerful, either. Grandfather was sad to see me go, but happy to see me thrive. Er... live, really. The rest of them were relieved that I was finally leaving.

So was I, really.

I liked them, but I _definitely_ didn't belong with them. I didn't think I really _belonged _anywhere, but I was okay with that. I wasn't really a social animal, anyway.

The leaving was rather anti-climactic. Just a bright flash and a loud bang and I was... where the fuck was I?

I looked around. "Why the fuck do I keep ending up in strange places?!" I demanded of the little fox beside me.

He backed away from me slowly. "Kagome... Inu Yasha! Help!" He ran away.

Gods damn it.

It took me a good twenty minutes to catch the little bugger (I was glad I didn't fall for any of the silly little tricks he threw at me) and another ten to convince him that I wasn't going to kill him or eat him or something.

"Kid, I need to find Sesshomaru. To find Sesshomaru, I must find Inu Yasha, so he can lead me there. Or, at least, point me in the right direction..." I trailed off before I murmured, "or I could just follow him around until they get into another fight..." I brightened. "That will be perfect! Take me to Inu Yasha, little kit!"

He agreed hurriedly. I wasn't that scary, was I...?

* * *

Kagome put up quite the argument, but I called her a dumb ho and she went off, crying. Shippo seemed aggravated with me for that, but the rest of them were just confused.

It amused me.

Did I mention that I hated Kagome? 'Cause I do. Hate her, that is. Despise, really. I wish her a painful, mute death. Because she annoys me.

Nice enough girl, but she has this self-important wrath that pisses me off. And I feel bad for Inu-chan.

Speaking of...

"C'mere, Inu Yasha, would you?" I called to him. He's so fluffy... It's adorable. You know, in that little kid kind of way? I always think of him as being young... I have A.D.D. Leave me 'lone.

Inu Yasha grunted but complied. He watched me cautiously as I grabbed the subjugation beads round his neck. And I lifted them off.

"There. Now you won't have severe back problems when you're older." I nodded sharply, agreeing with myself.

"What are you getting at?" he snapped. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because cruel and unusual punishment is illegal where I come from," I answered with a sneer. I then pocketed the beads, to keep them safe. I knew this toad that I would _love _to torment.

Kagome came back to the camp shortly after. She made ramen for everyone but me, but I ignored her. I was munching on chips I stole from her backpack. She should really the thing a bit closer.

As she gave Inu Yasha his, he grumbled something I couldn't understand. Apparently it offended the little ho, so she started screeching. When he seemed unaffected, she yelled "sit!" repeatedly.

This made me start laughing hysterically, 'cause every time she repeated it, she would get even more desperation in her voice.

Eventually, though, it started to get on my nerves. "Shut up!" I yelled at her, tossing a pebble at her head. It actually hit, which surprised me. I couldn't throw things, usually, with any true direction. I went on, however, ignoring my feat and her pout-y call of "ow!" "You're a childish little brat, you know? You only needed to subjugate Inu Yasha when he was being a rampant demon trying to kill everything in sight, but _no! _You have to go around acting like a spoiled child, _hurting _him every time he _displeased _you!" I spat. All humor was gone from me. I was really tired of this little bitch, and now I could do something about it.

"You do not hurt people because they have said something you don't like," I lectured, trying to rein in my anger. Hurting her would do nothing but get the whole lot angry with me and make me a killer. Because I would kill her, if I got my hands on her long enough. "You might hurt them in self-defence, but defending yourself does not include injuring others because they're rude. You treat him worse than most people would treat a _pet._" I sent Inu Yasha an apologetic look for this. He seemed more in shock than anything, so I figured it would be okay. "You do not hit dogs for being disobedient. You do not shove people into dirt because you have anger issues."

Kagome made to protest but I held up my hand. "Go die in a hole for all I care. But I like Inu Yasha, and I will not let you abuse him." Finding that my admission made them _all _give me weird looks, I added, "I'm not _interested _in him. Just think he should be treated better. By everyone. I'm interested in his brother." Their looks made it worth it.

I laughed my ass off at them. "C'mon! He's beautiful! I mean, sure, he's a complete asshole, but he's got to be the sexiest being in existence."

"Who is, woman?"

My blood ran cold. I swear I had palpitations.

He sounded pissed, and I was in deep shit again.

"I didn't mean it!" I yelled, running around the fire to hide behind Inu Yasha. When no wrath came, I peeked out.

I found Sesshomaru looking at me with... amusement. And bemusement.

He was so pretty...

And I could go back to stalking him, now! Sweet.

* * *

Yay! A real-sized chapter! I made a limit (a minimum of 2000 words, 'cause that seemed to be the initial average).

And I updated rather quickly! Are you proud? Please? A little bit?

I love you ^_^ For reading this. 'Cause I never read authors' notes. Which makes me a bad, bad reader. Well... sometimes I do.

Anyway, I'm sorry if you're super-in-love-with Kagome or Kikyo. I won't kill them, I promise. I just hate them. And my characters tend to share my sentiments on people I find stupid. I am also sorry I added that in. I didn't intend it, it just sort of... happened.

Like a lot of this story. :P

This story is now 47 pages on my document thingy. Without A/Ns and in 12 pt. font. Woo! Most I've ever written on the computer on one thing.

If any of you want me to kill Kagome, tell me. I should take a poll. To kill her or not to kill her (and Kikyo), that is the question. I will look into it.

I don't intend to be one of those authors that demand some amount of reviews for another chapters, but getting one is always nice. I would, of course, update anyway, but my inspiration would be low, and it would take me forever. Reviews make me update almost as soon as I read them. Even if they're just telling me that my story amuses you for a few minutes, and I should continue writing because you demand it. Or something.

Because that amuses me. XD

So this is yamixtsuki, signing off. Please review? Pretty plux? I have sugar cookies.

Really, I do. But I'm not going to mail them to you. That would be weird. I will mentally send them to you, however? If you review? :D


	10. Bye, Bye Monkun

So Sesshomaru didn't kill me. Apparently, he had caught my scent suddenly, and decided that I needed to go back to my day job of watching Rin. Or, at least, that's what I guessed he had done. And he didn't want to carry my sword around, anymore.

I was so happy when I found that his arm had grown back and that he had Bakusaiga. "It means that you're an awesome person, now. Erm... more of an awesome person. I meant that you're a good person." With a glare, I was silenced.

I said my goodbyes to the Inu Yasha group, and was all ready to leave when I noticed that there was a second campfire like... ten feet away. I'm so smart.

Rin was playing with Shippo. I hadn't noticed. Well, she hadn't noticed me, either, but she was having fun throwing Shippo at Kohaku. I thought it was adorable, when I saw it.

Shippo didn't.

With a happy sound, she trotted over to me, calling my name and giving me the biggest hug a girl her size could manage.

I realized, then, that she had experienced death. For the second time.

With a sad smile, I returned her hug, asking her how she was feeling.

"Rin is very good! Lord Sesshomaru took good care of Rin while she was un-alive and now Rin is alive again!" Well... she's an odd one. I'll give her that.

I gave her another hug and she ran off to play with fireflies. Sesshomaru looked on with disinterest, but I could see something cautious in his eyes. He was worried for her.

It's sad, but it was then that I realized why exactly he would send the girl to Kaede. For her protection. So that she would learn to live as a human and not depend on a demon lord to protect her. He wouldn't be around every time, and... well, it was better that way.

At least he doesn't just leave her and forget about her.

I gave him a smile and he glared at me. Same old Sesshomaru, at least.

As Sesshomaru walked away from me, Inu Yasha decided to sit beside me. Which may or may not have been _why _Sesshomaru was walking away. Speaking of...

"Why are you all camping together?" I asked the the half-demon gangster.

"I'm not really sure how it happened, honestly," Inu Yasha informed me, giving an annoyed sniff. "But he just started stopping whenever we did and following us around."

"He plans to leave Rin to Kaede. To your village."

"Does he? Why doesn't that surprise me? He's a cold-hearted bastard..."

I smacked him upside the head. Gently. -ish. "That's not nice! He's doing it for her safety. What do you think will happen to her if he suddenly resume his lordly business? What do you think other demon lords will think of her as?"

"Oh," he replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Hitting is reflex when people say stupid things," I mentioned. He seemed okay with that, oddly enough.

"You seem rather defensive of him," Inu Yasha ventured, scooting away a little in case I decided to strike out again. I felt a little bad about that, actually. One should not hit those who have suffered abuse.

"What can I say? I like him." I reached out slow enough so he didn't flinch and patted his head. "Sorry 'bout that."

He was confused, but he didn't comment. He let a simple "hm" noise in acceptance, before he jumped up on his haunches. That seemed to be a comfortable position for him. Actually, I thought it was rather comfortable, myself.

I used to sit like that, pretending I was Inu Yasha, actually. When I remembered doing that, I let out a snicker.

"What?" Inu Yasha snapped. I could sense that he thought I was making fun of him in my head. Best correct that.

"Nothing, really. I just used to sit like that all the time." Also best not to mention he was a television show where I came from.

There was a long while of silence after that.

"How much of the jewel does Naraku have?" I asked him.

"All of it," he replied.

"Oh. You gonna kill him soon?"

"Probably tomorrow."

"Cool."

* * *

The battle was rather... interesting. Naraku didn't really want to kill me, so Kagome and Rin hid behind me until all the dramatic B.S. happened inside Kagome's head.

I actually wished the jewel away. I didn't do it intentionally, but at one point Naraku had me stuck to a wall and I was somewhere _near _it, and I was all, "Go the fuck away, you're pissing me off."

And it was wished gone. Which I laughed my ass off about. 'Cause I had totally ruined Kagome's glory moment and pissed her off.

I was a little sad that Naraku died, anyway. He was kind of funny, in a psychotic way. But all's well, end's well and he died with a bemused smile. Which was good enough for me.

Miroku and Sango seemed to find it amusing. Or arousing, because as soon as we had all gotten rested up and cleaned, they went off into the sunset to have lots of sex. At least, that's what I assumed they were doing, because they came back with big grins on their faces.

Which might actually have had more to do with the ring on Sango's finger than anything.

Kagome went into the well after having an extreme argument with Inu Yasha and I hadn't seen her since.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I hadn't seen her because I was at Sesshomaru's castle again. And I don't even _know _what Kikyo was doing. I didn't see her around, but Miroku had informed me that she was _not _dead, and I was not allowed to party just yet.

Apparently, Yuki wanted me to train some more with Sesshomaru's army. The men were not happy about it, but Sesshomaru threatened their dignity if they didn't obey him. Non-verbally, too. I wish I had that talent...

Anyway, back to Inu Yasha. I wasn't really sure where he was, actually. He'd figure it out. He was a smart spit-fire, whatever stupid things he did.'

Sesshomaru was always flying about doing this or that to get his lands in order or giving Rin presents, and I didn't see him much.

Yuki was happy to kick my ass all the time. _All _the time. Stupid manifestation of my blade...

Speaking of...

"You cunt!" I shouted at Yuki. "That hurt..." I rubbed my cheek gingerly where he had kicked it.

"You're supposed to block it," he quipped, giving an evil cackle after.

"As of now, I am physically incapable of doing that. So... sue me."

"I think I'll opt for kicking you in the face, actually. Thanks for the offer, though."

Oh yeah. Another thing Yuki lied about: He's also supposed to teach me unarmed fighting. Bastard. I think he's just an evil little spirit trying to take revenge on me for past wrongs dealt to him by my ancestors.

My days were pretty simple, even with Yuki trying to kill me at every turn. I woke up at some ungodly hour, ate and trained with the army. In the afternoon, when they would spar with each other, I would spar with Yuki. Rather, get my ass handed to me by Yuki. Then, Mr. Courageous Fear would let me eat some more, before he kicked my ass again.

All in all... it wasn't so bad. I had fun. Agonizing fun, but fun nonetheless.

* * *

It was the seventh week after Naraku's defeat that I found Inu Yasha. It was my day off (I got one once a week) and I usually spent it running around in the forest, attempting to stay alive and enjoy myself at the same time. It was nighttime when I found him, and it was the new moon.

I wouldn't have noticed him, but he was having trouble avoiding this demon that seemed intent on going "omnomnom" on Inu Yasha's leg.

It had no teeth, so it wasn't that much of a threat, but it wouldn't let go and I think its powerful jaws were beginning to break Inu Yasha's leg bone. The thing reminded me of a platypus, actually. I would have thought it cute if it wasn't trying to eat my erm... friend.

With an evil grin, I removed Konton no Hono from its sheath, watching the silver blade glow black and transform to its true form. With a crazed laugh, I swung the sword down and beheaded the platypus demon.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm insane?

"Who the fuck are you?" Inu Yasha asked, hand on the hilt of Tetsusaiga.

"Your mother," I deadpanned. At his look, I said, "I'm Yami. The weird chick who removed your beads for you? You should come up to the castle – I don't think that this forest is very... safe. 'Specially not at this time of night with all these demons around."

"Castle?" he questioned.

"Sesshomaru's palace," I informed him.

When he seemed curious instead of cautious, I walked off, grabbing his hand so he would follow. "I think he's home, now, so I'll ask him if you can stay. I honestly don't think he'd care, either way."

Inu Yasha nodded. He was being oddly cooperative. Oh, well... I'd find out what was wrong, eventually. I think.

* * *

You'd think I would have realized that Sesshomaru was _not _running around on the castle grounds and was, in fact, in the castle and I would have to tell Inu Yasha to wait, yell for Sesshomaru or hope the demon lord wouldn't get mad at me for inviting his brother over. I opted to hope he wouldn't kill me.

I threw the outer layer of the haori Sesshomaru had given me over the head of black hair that Inu Yasha sported before I opened the gate and trekked up to the castle. It was some time around midnight, and there were very few servants out and about, and none seemed to really care about Inu Yasha's presence.

I made my way through the confusing maze of a set of hallways with Inu Yasha in tow. I was rather proud that I could actually navigate in the castle, actually. Made me happy.

I call it a castle rather than a palace because Sesshomaru doesn't like it when I call it a palace. "This Sesshomaru does not look like a panther demon. Do not mistake me as one," he said, when I asked why. He's a weird dog-demon. I don't think of him as a cat in any way shape or form.

Unless I'm thinking of how lithe and graceful and pretty he is. Then he is feline. But that's a given.

I knocked on... well, it really _looked _like an office, even if it was a war-room. So I called it Sesshomaru's office. He didn't know what that was, so I was safe. For now.

"Sesshomaru? I um... I brought a guest." Inu Yasha snorted at me.

"Enter," he ordered. I obeyed, dragging the human half-demon in after me. "You have chosen to accept my offer?" Sesshomaru asked.

Befuddled, I asked, "What offer? You offer me nothing. You give me things and tell me to do stuff and I do it. What is this 'offer' thing you are speaking of?"

"Not you, woman," Sesshomaru groused. "Inu Yasha."

"I found him in the woods, not too far away," I said.

"Yeah... I guess I'll join you guys here," spoke Inu Yasha.

"And not get munched on by platypi?" I asked him with a smug grin.

"A what?" Even Sesshomaru seemed confused.

"You don't know what a platypus is, do you?" I asked. When I got a "no, what the fuck is that?" I said, "It's a mammal. Erm... It has a stinger, and a bill, and is rather similar to a duck, but the babies are cuter." I received an odd look in return.

"Never mind."

Well, after Inu Yasha joined our happy party, Sesshomaru decided to stick around a bit more and train the army himself. Honestly, I don't know why he really kept the men around, because they were relatively useless, and whatever they could do, Sesshomaru could do a thousand times more efficiently.

Maybe for the appearances. Yeah...

* * *

Inu Yasha joined me in my training regime and we seemed to be a great, happy family.

Months flew by, and before I knew it, I was wanting to kill the sun. Erm... more than usual. I hadn't realized that Japan got so hot in the summer...

Sometime in June, Inu Yasha started avoiding me. In fact, everyone started avoiding me. 'Cept the people in the kitchen. They liked me. Those sweet women who gave me normal food (non-demon parts.) Delicious chicken and stuff.

When I finally spoke to Sesshomaru, it was late July. He was really angry, and I was wondering what had gotten into him.

"You seem like you're in a bad mood," I told him. "What's going on?" Actually, I wasn't all that concerned I knew that he had lordly business to get to, and I wasn't all that important of his list of things to pay attention to. I also knew that he could handle himself. What I didn't know is what he was doing lately, and I was very curious. Bad, bad curiosity...

When he merely grunted at me and walked away, I was very much confused. As much of an asshole Sesshomaru was, he is usually more articulate. He at least says, "go away" when he's annoyed. I try to listen to him, too.

Try...

I followed him around for a while. A short while, because he headed straight for his bedroom. I adorned a confuzzled expression, and asked him if he was feeling well.

He didn't answer, merely opening his door and stalking inside. Immediately, he started taking off his armor, removing Mokomoko and placing it by his bed. It was then that I began to get worried.

"Sesshomaru?" I called, stepping inside. _I hope he doesn't eat me. _I thought. Then I snickered, mentally. _In the bad way. Good way...? I could enjoy that..._

When he looked up, his eyes were very... red. Not angry, but like he was getting ready to go demon-out on someone. Considering that the only person around was _me_, I didn't feel all that safe.

"You should not have followed me, woman," he growled.

"I'm getting that, now," I replied. "I'll just um... leave, now..." As I began to make my exit, Sesshomaru appeared in my way.

"You will not." His red eyes burrowed into my own, and I felt the beginnings of fear seep into my heart.

"Oh, fuck," I gasped.

"Yes."

* * *

Oooo... what's happening now? Muhahaha...

I think I'll have to post this somewhere else so that I can try my hand at writing a sex scene. Any recommendations?

This chapter is a smidge longer than usual, because it's number 10! I thought that that was pretty cool. Ne?

Kay, maybe not. This one was a full six pages instead of the usual five and 2500 words instead of 2000... Not that much bigger... That's what she said.

You can yell at me for stuff if you want, I don't mind. :D And I would love a review. Like... I would love you. Even more than I already do 'cause you're reading this. XD

So... yeah... Love you, and all that, and I'll chat with you later. Through my story. 'Cause there are _totally _hidden messages in it. XD

yamixtsuki, signing off.


	11. Fucking Rapists Make Babies

Sesshomaru shut the door, stalking toward me with a feral gleam in his eyes. As he walked, he removed the outer layer of his haori. Nervous, afraid and, somewhere in my hormonal mind, excited, I backed slowly away from him.

I attempted to estimate where his bed was so I could avoid it, because I was _not _taking my eyes off an irate Lord Sesshomaru. Especially when he was like this. 'Twas scary.

Unfortunately, I'd only been in his room twice, so I had a lot of difficulty avoiding it. Actually, I ended up backing into the center of it. By this time, Sesshomaru was down to the tie on his hakama. With a smirk that seemed somewhere around unnatural, he tugged on it and his pants pooled at his feet.

"Um... Can we talk about this?" I asked while rolling to the other side of his bed to get more than a foot of distance between us.

With a growl, he grabbed my wrists and pinned me to the very soft bed. I wanted to fall asleep. Actually... I didn't think that _then _was the best time for that, so never mind.

He let out another animalistic sound and tore my clothes from my body. I reflexively covered myself, diving for the covers of his bed and trying to hide beneath them. He leaped after me, tearing the blankets from me and reattaining my dropped wrists.

"Oh, crap."

With a show of teeth, he leaned over me, forcing my legs to still as they were trapped by his. He moved one of my wrists to the other, capturing both with one hand as the other dipped lower, tracing my breast before it slipped down to toy with my entrance.

He gave me a hungry, questioning look. I felt my face catch fire. "Not done that, before. Played with it, sure, but I've never- Oh my god!" I was cut off as he began to probe with his finger. It scared me. Erm... surprised.

I should have expected that.

For a sex-crazed cold-hearted demon lord, he was a surprisingly gentle lover. For now.

He began the not-so-tedious process of stretching me. Which wouldn't really be necessary, in most situations, but I was a virgin (which he now knew) and he's like... mammoth-size. Ew. Bestiality. Didn't need to go there.

My thought processes receded as he began to rub against my g-spot repeatedly. Without my conscious permission, my mouth opened wide and let out a low moan. Apparently deciding that that was enough preparation, Sesshomaru removed his fingers and replaced it with something much _larger. _

Of all the fanfiction I'd read of fantasies of him, I don't think that anyone was ever very accurate on quite how _large _he was. I guessed, then, in a random moment of clarity, that it was due to his demon blood. Demons always seemed to be bigger everywhere else, so why not dicks, too?

I was wet enough so that it was not difficult for him to begin to slip in, but not quite expanded enough for it to be without pain. He went slowly though he did not hesitate or pause until he was fully sheathed within me. I hissed in pain when he finally stopped.

He watched me with an impatient expression, and I knew he wouldn't wait too long before he... started. When the pain receded a bit, I nodded at him and he backed up, taking no time at all to ram himself back into me.

I did not whimper in pain, I swear. I'm tough!

He picked up a rhythm with the ease of familiarity and I tried my best to ignore the pain in my hole. Then it finally completely receded and I realized that _hey, _this is fun!

He gave an approving grunt when my legs wrapped around his hips and my arms came to rest on his shoulders. Pleasure took hold and I did not resist the moans that bubbled up in my throat. I did, however, resist the urge to beg him for more. That would be degrading.

He gained speed, though he did not fall off beat, and his claws dug into my sides. His jaw tightened and, experimentally, I tightened my muscles. I was rewarded with a growl that sounded very similar to a groan.

Delighted by this (and turned on), I did it again, rolling my hips up to meet his thrusts. That was _definitely _a groan! In reply to his nails in my sides, I dug my own into his back.

"_Sesshomaru~..." _I did _not _just whine that!

His retaliation was another boost of speed and I felt his demonic energy rise up around us. The red glow flowed through the room and he thrust faster, faster...

With a near-roar, Sesshomaru stiffened, head landing on my shoulder as I felt something white-hot fill my canal. It was almost hot enough to _burn, _actually. Not quite, but almost.

What did burn was the bite Sesshomaru randomly decided to inflict on my shoulder. I'm pretty sure it burned because of the acid in his drool, but _damn. _What the fuck?

With a sigh, Sesshomaru rolled off of me and... went to sleep?

"What about me, damn it?!" I shouted at his near-corpse. He didn't even twitch.

Deciding that he was a bastard, and I was going to monopolize his bed, I went to the bath and cleaned up the mess... down there. "What the fuck are you, a friggen' hose?" I mumbled at him. _"Contraceptus!" _I said, pointing at my stomach. "Fuck. I'd better not be prego, 'cause if I am, I am _so _going to kill you."

With that threat, I maneuvered under his blankets and went to sleep.

When I woke up, there was a kimono waiting for me and a nice little meal. I ate it, taking a bath (when I found it already prepared) and put on the kimono. I felt weird without the usual haori and hakama, but I'd deal.

* * *

The kimono was silky, and black. I'd be okay.

I glanced at my neck in the mirror though I found no sign of his evil, evil bite.

Deciding that life was life, and I needed to get to my _own _room, I exited Sesshomaru's. The halls were deserted as it was just about time for breakfast, and I had no trouble making my way through the halls.

When I reached my room, I heard voices inside. As soon as I was in range of hearing, the talking stopped. Shrugging, I opened the door and stepped in. Yuki sat on my bed with Sesshomaru standing over him.

The dog demon was back to normal, it seemed. He seemed no more or less frigid than usual, and his eyes were the normal white and gold. No red to be seen. I barely noticed the relief that flooded my system.

Yuki was a pale white and he looked frightened for his life.

"What are you threatening?" I asked Sesshomaru.

"To kill you," he answered without inflection.

"Your fault, whatever the reason," I informed him without looking his way again. "I would have stayed away if I knew you were in season."

He gave a near-silent scoff. "I doubt that."

"You doubt me, anyway." I finally met his gaze. "What's so bad that you have to kill me for it?"

"I mated you." That was blunt.

"You mean..." I frowned, mulling it over. They seemed averse to speaking, so I had time. "The permanent kind?" He nodded. "Well... crap."

Sesshomaru sighed and, in a moment of being... not uptight, he sat on my bed and looked at the floor, running long fingers through his silky hair. I flushed as I remembered what those fingers had done just a few hours ago.

"Do you _have _to kill me?" I asked.

"This Sesshomaru is required to do nothing. I refuse to be stuck with a weakling like _you, _however," he snapped.

"Ouch. Jeez. You _are _rather mean. Hey, if you killed me and brought me back with the Tenseiga, would it be nullified?"

"Doubtful," input Yuki.

"Are you even going to _try _to keep me alive?" I growled at him.

"If you die with no heirs, I go free. I've paid my debt to your family, I should be free."

I nodded. "You should."

After a while of silence, I turned to Sesshomaru again. "Do I have a... time? Or are you just going to kill me now?"

His surprised expression confused me. "You are going to let me?" he asked, frowning.

"I'll probably fight, but I _know _you're stronger than me. In probably every way possible. Therefore, I die."

He nodded. "It is acceptable to give you time."

"Aw... I didn't know you'd care." Then a thought occurred to me. "I'm... am I pregnant?"

"I don't know," he answered. Then, he leaned forward, sniffing. Which made him seem like Inu Yasha, and I gave a near-hysteric giggle. Shock filled his features and all his perfect posture went to not as he slumped.

"Fuck. Don't even answer, I know..." I said, pouting. Then I whined, "I'm too young to give birth to a kid!"

"Pups. Twins."

I fainted. Again. Sesshomaru _is _a fucking rapist! I told you so!

* * *

I woke up to an old lady murmuring at me. Then I realized that the old lady was Kaede.

"Are ye there, child?" she asked me, apparently magically sensing that I was awake.

"Yes... No. Not completely," I answered her.

"Close enough," she replied, giving me a wary look.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"Close to where you fainted," Yuki supplied. Giving a sniff, I realized I was in my own bed.

"I'm not dead yet!" I did a little dance while still under my blankets.

"As little I care for you, woman, I am not a pup-killer," came a sexy voice to my left. I turned to it, giving Sesshomaru a sad smile.

"I never said you were."

He seemed okay with that.

"You know, I never really thought I'd have babies. Especially not with you." He glared at me. "That's not how I meant that. I _mean _that you're just... well, you. You're amazing and not all that … social, so if I met you, I would never be... doing you, so I _really _doubted I would have babies with you. I would be glad that I followed you, but you seem kinda annoyed so it'll be a secret if I am."

"Ye're an odd child. Perhaps ye'll be good fer Sesshomaru." Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at her, but after all the years she spent with Inu Yasha, it wasn't too difficult to ignore it for her. The only reason I didn't near shit my pants every time he glared at me was because I thought it was sexy and I was just insane enough to ignore the danger. I think he liked it when people weren't afraid of him, though. He appreciated bravery as much as he condemned it.

"Hey, Sesshomaru?" I called, thinking that this was a bad idea, but I wanted to know how he'd treat his pups. I also felt like I should be a lot more overwhelmed than I was. I'm waiting for it... "I don't want to ask you to be nice to me, or anything. That's out of the question. I like you anyway." I nodded at him. He gave me an odd look. "What I want to ask you is... to be a good father, I guess? Even if you don't really express it, would you love your pups? Even if they're only half inu-youkai. 'Cause they won't be half-human. And..." My face flushed with the whole awkward scenario in the room. I fell silent.

And then joy overcame me as he gave the barest of nods, ignoring both Yuki and Kaede.

I wanted to "squee" and hug the life out of him because it was just so _adorable, _but he wouldn't have liked that so I refrained, instead shooting him a beaming smile.

_I wonder if he's going to kill me after I have the pups. Oh, hell... I don't even really care, right now._

* * *

Okay. So. How was the lemon? Didja like it? Should I never attempt one again? XD

Tell meh!

Anyway... Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it. I hope for more reviews, as usual. 'Cause they make me happy.

A while back, a "Guest" left a review. I wanted to thank that "Guest." I don't like to reply on here, 'cause it gets in the way, but... I love you!

Also, there was someone called "Soul." Thank you, Ms. (I assume) Soul. For your review~!

Can I gets some more? :D Pwease? I'll name the babies after you~! Actually... I have no idea what I'll name them. Can I have some input?

Note: I never meant for them to have babies together. XD


	12. Waiting, Waiting, Waiting

After all the cuteness, Kaede explained to me what I could and could not do as a prego-woman. She also mentioned things I could and could not eat and mentioned to Sesshomaru that they should watch my food for poisoning. I took it all very seriously and only joked when I was told how round I would get.

"I don't wanna be fat..." I muttered. "Am I going to be fat forever, after this?"

"I doubt that, child," Kaede replied with a sigh.

"You will be healthy so that the pups will be healthy, woman," Sesshomaru remarked, sending me a glare.

"I didn't ask _during... _I was asking about _after. _Unless you plan on killing me after. … Do you?" He shook his head, albeit slowly and with regret. I almost felt bad for him. But then, he has like... a million and one more awesome things then me and I thought, _He'll get over it. _… _maybe... _"Then I can hope that I don't have extra body fat when the twins are done... baking in the oven."

Everybody in the room stared at me with either looks of disbelief or confusion.

"Hey! Where's Inu Yasha?" I asked, trying to change the topic of discussion. "Shouldn't he know he's gonna be an uncle? Oh, god... this is so weird. I'mma be a mom!" Inu Yasha snorted from the doorway he was standing in.

"I'm not going to call you 'sister,' all right?" I nodded.

"Can I call you bro, though?" The half-demon grimaced at me before giving a sound "no." "Hey, Yuki? Is there any way I can continue to practice... magic, while I'm prego? At least, until I can't even move around anymore, because I'll be too fat?"

"You will not be fat, woman," Sesshomaru said.

"It is best ye don't use any magic, because we won't know how it'll affect your... process," Kaede told me with a stern look.

"Damn."

* * *

"What are their names?" Rin asked me with bright eyes. "What kind of demons will they be? Are they going to be boys, or girls?"

"Um... Ask Sesshomaru for the first, they will be half dog-demon, part Protector and part Hunter. I have no idea of their gender," I answered her. Honestly, I hoped that they would somehow become full dog demon. The whole rivalry thing with the two Clans was... well, it sucked, and I didn't want any children of mine to deal with that.

"Lord Sesshomaru! What are the names of the twins inside Yami?" she asked the stoic dog demon.

He suddenly looked very angry. "You will not accept them as your own?" he spat.

What? "The fuck?" … That was... stupid. There's a Rin. Right. There.

"What's a 'fuck?'" Rin asked. I facepalmed.

"It's a bad word that Yami should not say. Please do not repeat it," I told her. She nodded obediently.

"Rin," spoke Sesshomaru through a tight jaw. "Go outside."

"Yes, Lord Sesshomaru," the human girl chirped, skipping out compliantly. As she left, an awkward silence ensued. Sesshomaru and I stared at each other. He was angry and I was confused and the silence began to eat away at me.

"I don't know what you mean," I told him.

"You refused to name my pups, woman," he growled in return.

"Oh. I thought you would want to do it. Like... some kind of man-thing. I'm not refusing. Isn't it custom for men to name their children?" I thought it was. Like... in the old days it was. "That's what I was told."

"I am not a man, woman."

I stared at him. "You seemed pretty manly a few nights ago. And you're not a small man, either." Then I thought a moment, because his glare, while it had faded, intensified. "Oh! You mean like 'human' man thing. I get it. So... what's the custom for demons?"

"The mate of the sire names the first-born," he told me, glare evaporating now that the misunderstanding had passed. This was very... confusing. He had more mood swings than me. Maybe he's pregnant, too? "As they are twins, they will both be considered first-born."

I nodded. "But how can I name them if I don't know whether or not they will be male or female? I've never actually named anyone before. Not even any pets that I had. They came pre-named," I mentioned at his raised eyebrow. "And the names of my – our – children have to have _meaning. _It's important. By the way... is there more to your name than just Sesshomaru?"

"Inu no Taisho Sesshomaru-sama no Seibu no Tochi," he answered.

"That sounds like a title, Mr. Killing Perfection." They speak Asian! Specifically the dialect of Japanese. I wished I spoke a little bit more than Californian. "So... Dog General Sesshomaru of the Western Lands, do you have any other _names_, beside the titles? Because my name is Emerald Vielle Vice. Yami is the name I gave myself, the whole thing being Yami no Tsuki – darkness of the moon."

More silence. "Alright! No middle or surnames! This makes things... easier, I think. Maybe. Do you ever name kids after their parents or grandparents? 'Cause 'Killing Perfection' is an awesome name." His smug smirk was rather cute, in a way.

"It is your choice, woman. Naming after ancestors is not unheard of, but it is not common."

"Hey! By your definition, I am not a woman. I'm... I'm a... Hunter/Protector." Sesshomaru raised one elegant eyebrow. "It's true. I don't get to be called by name? You even address Jaken by his name. And he's a stupid little toad."

"He has uses." He hesitated a moment. "Emerald."

I grinned at him.

* * *

"I'm not an invalid!" I yelled. "I know not to go near the training grounds! Whatever you think, I'm not stupid!"

A twitching eyebrow was the only obvious sign of his annoyance. "The _training grounds _are not the only danger, woman." _Oh, so back to species again, are we? _"There are always demons in the forests nearby that would like a chance at this Sesshomaru's pups." His eyes narrowed at me. "You will _not _endanger yourself and, as a byproduct, endanger the pups."

"I need to absorb some sunlight. Vitamin D." His blank stare did not help my case. "Then come with me," I ordered.

"Outside? I have more important things to do."

"Oh my god. I think that's the first time I heard you refer to yourself in the first person. And if you can't do it, would you allow Inu Yasha to?" At his look of protest, I added, "He's the one with your father's sword. You know, for protecting people?"

A sigh. "Fine. Leave." He gestured to the door.

I did a little happy dance, hugged his fluffy side and darted out the door.

There are only so many people to bother in castle, after all.

* * *

"_Inu Yasha~!" _I called into his room. "I have a request!"

I heard moans. "Eeeeewwww..." I answered them.

"Shit! Emerald!" _Don't call me that! _I mentally whined. "Um... hang on a minute!" he returned. Then, a whisper, "go out the window." I heard the "click" of a window opening and then the rustle of fabric before Inu Yasha opened the door, face beet red. "What's up?"

"I don't want to know. I _really _don't want to know." Before he could answer that and tell me something I _didn't _want to know, I asked, "Would you be willing to escort me outside so I can... not be inside and Sesshomaru won't _omnomnom _my face when we get back?"

He nodded, though he looked thoroughly confused. "Yeah, sure."

And outside we went, ignoring the fact that he was probably just humping someone. A _male _someone, by the sounds of the groans.

* * *

"_Some pretty flowers, maybe daisies," _I sang. _"To brighten up the room." _I was girlishly picking flowers and making crowns to give to Rin later. _"Don't you think some flowers, pretty daisies, might relieve the gloom?" _

"No. And you seem to be destroying the garden, _Emerald,"_ spoke a sexy voice beside my ear. I tried – and succeeded – to not jump. Go me.

Inu Yasha left with the appearance of Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru seemed pleased with that, and took a seat on the benches set out for the sole purpose of people siting to look at flowers. Mind you, Sesshomaru wasn't really interested in looking at flowers, but that was beside the point.

"Sesshomaru," I asked, "would you wear a flower crown for me?" He seemed irritated with my suggestion. Go figure. "You're a meanie face. I hope you won't be like this the whole nine months. That would suck."

"Nine months?" he growled. "Are you planning on leaving?"

"What? No. The fuck?" I spluttered. "Nine months. Takes 'em that long to bake in the oven," I told him, rubbing my belly.

"Four."

"What?"

"It takes four."

"The hell? Why wasn't I told of this?!" I exclaimed at him. Now he was amused. Bastard.

"It was assumed that you would already have the knowledge," he replied. "You are rather ignorant."

"I lived in a – literally – completely different world. Excuse me for not knowing that demon babies pop out five months faster than the human ones."

"Your own species is the same," came his reply.

"I grew up thinking I was human. When have you been chatting it up with Yuki?"

"He spoke at great length to Kaede. I listened as well. I will be familiar with what my pups will be like," he answered firmly.

"Oh. Okay. I think I should take lessons from Yuki." At his warning look, I hastily verbalized, "About the species. Not training. Nothing dangerous."

He nodded. "Perhaps you should learn of _my _kind as well."

"That sounds good."

It was small, but I could almost make out the barest hint of good-mood-ness in his eyes. His lips twitched and I beamed at him.

This wasn't so bad.

* * *

This was hell. "My feet hurt!" I complained to my sword spirit.

"Don't get fat, then," he replied.

"You're a dick," I retorted, making a loose and uninspired swing at him.

"You're pregnant. Don't try to fight me."

"I'm not trying to fight you. I'm trying to injure you for being an asshole." I threw my pillow, which he caught and then proceeded to put it back under me. "You know, for a verbal asshole, you're actually kinda sweet when you do things."

"Only until I can kick your ass again," he said with a smirk. It did not reach his eyes, however, and I could tell he was worried.

"What's wrong?"

"I've been having issues with Inu Yasha lately..." he mumbled.

"What? He picking fights with you?" I joked.

"He doesn't want to have sex anymore."

"... What?"

* * *

LOL! That came out of nowhere. I wanted to make her going to see Inu Yasha interesting, and then I decided that he would have a lover. Then I decided to make it more interesting, and threw in Yuki. Because I'm a yaoi fangirl, and it makes me happy to see manXman. Or throw it in.

Ms. Guest! I'm happy you got my reply! And I'm glad you were happy to receive one! :D

I loves you all! ... I really do need ideas for names, so please send me some? At least like... ideas for what to base them off of? Like an object or something? 'Cause that would be awesome. And then I'll Japanese-ify them. Or try, anyway. 'Cause I'm drawing a blank, and I want to have them birthed next chapter.

Anyway, review, plux? Also, I'm sorry this was late, but I got re-hooked on Zelda. I've doing a walkthrough-run playthrough on Majora's Mask for the past few days and I've spaced on everything else. So I apologize. *smacks self a little*


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